Simone Biles Is A Role Model For Mental Fitness: 3 Ways To Learn By Her Example, From A Clinical Psychologist

Simone Biles reminds us that mental fitness is vital. Her decision to withdraw from a recent event in the Tokyo Olympics to focus on her mental health was surprising to everyone—and very likely, even the gymnastics superstar herself. As a clinical psychologist, I recognize that this unexpected event spotlights that it can be brave to actually step away, even at moments of high reward. It also highlights the importance of self-care and boundaries—perhaps especially for those who aim high.  

I work with countless people who are driven, intelligent, and often struggling with perfectionism. Through my experience, I've found it's essential to identify when tolerating some discomfort can support growth versus when it's healthier to take a break. This is important whether we're pushing ourselves physically or mentally.  

I've worked with many people who are jumping through unbelievable hoops to achieve a goal that mattered to their high school self but no longer matters to their adult self.  

For example, I worked with a hedge-fund analyst who was pulling all-nighters and bending over backward to please an impossible boss. She was a strong and determined young woman who was fully capable of "powering through" the challenges in her career. Despite her success, however, she found herself feeling empty and resentful. When we examined her feelings closer, we realized that she was exercising an incredible amount of self-discipline that would have been fine for her if the reward was worth it—but somewhere along the way, she'd realized her actual dream was to be a writer. Once we got clear about this, she finally felt she "had permission" to walk away from a highly coveted position because she realized that she was working toward a goal that no longer served her.  

Many driven people possess an amazing ability to "play through the pain." Whether it's an athlete who straps on a bandage and mentally blocks out her injury to win a trophy or a consummate professional who pushes aside tears as she misses her niece's birthday party due to a work-related emergency, I have found that many top-performers possess an uncanny ability to "white knuckle" their way through obstacles.  

While this is admirable to a certain extent, the danger is that these people often get so good at pushing aside their feelings that they actually forget those feelings exist. This leads to feelings of burnout and leaves them prone to mental or physical injuries. The key is to take time before and/or after stressful events to consider the emotional toll they take on you.  

I actually address this in my book, Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety, in a technique called "To-Do List with Emotions." Basically, you spend a moment thinking about what you're doing to work toward your goals. Notice what emotion arises for you around this activity, and then create a self-care plan to address it.