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5 Signs You're Ready To Stop Seeing A Therapist (And 1 You Aren't)
There's nothing like a good therapy session. You may leave feeling refreshed, enlightened, comforted, or inspired. Even "bad" therapy sessions with endless flowing tears can make you feel better after the fact. But what if you leave feeling…nothing?
This is one of the many signs you may be ready to stop therapy—perhaps not forever, but for now. Below, a few more indications that you're ready to take a break from therapy, from the founder of Ellie Mental Health Erin Pash, M.A., LMFT.
5 signs you may be ready to stop therapy
You've met your goals
Most therapy relationships begin with a goal. This could be to build self-esteem, create boundaries with loved ones, end a toxic relationship, or establish a work-life balance, for example.
If you've met those goals (and feel confident saying so), you may be ready to stop therapy—especially if you can't think of another goal to take its place.
However, if the reasons you started going to therapy are still causing major emotional distress, then that's a sign you should keep therapy high on your to-do list, Pash says.
You don't have anything to talk about
If you arrive at therapy with nothing to talk about, Pash says you may want to rethink the commitment. Sure, sometimes it takes a few minutes to warm up and get the conversation going, but you shouldn't be consistently struggling to think of new topics.
Now, if you notice you usually have one or two things to go over but not enough to make an entire session worth the cost, you may be better off slowing down rather than stopping altogether. More on that in a bit.
People have to be ready for therapy for therapy to work
Finally, you may be tempted to leave some topics untouched in therapy because you're nervous to dive deep into difficult emotions. While it's not always easy, try to evaluate your "why" behind canceling before stopping altogether.
You cancel often or resent the cost
While free therapy would sure be nice, most sessions do come with a fee. If you begin to push out your therapy sessions to make them "worth it" or leave feeling resentful about the price tag, it may be time to take a break.
This one is tricky because sometimes you'll be tempted to cancel therapy not because you don't have anything to go over but because you don't have the resources to pay for it. If that's the case, check out these six more affordable therapy options for every budget.
You're unmotivated to find a new therapist
"Sometimes you can be done doing therapy because you are ready to switch because you have exhausted your relationship with your current therapist but you also aren't motivated to find a new one," Pash says.
It's no secret that finding a new therapist can be a frustrating journey. So if your reason for holding off is just procrastination, that's not a sign to give it up.
Again, analyze your why behind finding a new therapist. Do you still have a list of personal growth goals? Do you want continued support? Do you want a new challenge or therapy style? Or are you doing it just because?
You're going through something you're not ready to talk about
Having a therapist on-call during a difficult time such as a breakup, losing your job, or making another significant life change can be helpful—for some people. Others prefer to use therapy as a tool to heal and move on after difficult events have already taken place.
Pash reminds us, "People have to be ready for therapy for therapy to work." So if you're just not ready, that's OK. You can take a break and come back when you do feel motivated to work through whatever it is that's causing a major shift in your life.
2 other options
Still not sure if you should stick with your therapist? It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Here are two more options if you want to continue therapy but make a change:
- Slow down, don't stop: Again, you don't have to completely call it quits. Instead, see if you can shift to what Pash calls a "maintenance" schedule. This could be once a month, once every three months, six months, and so on.
- Find a new therapist: Sometimes finding a new therapist is just what you need to reinspire the journey. Pash views therapists as "links on a chain," encouraging you to move on when you feel ready and build on the progress made so far.
1 sign you shouldn't quit
The takeaway
Think it's time to stop therapy? If you've met your goals, have nothing to talk about, resent the cost, feel unmotivated to find a new therapist, or are currently going through something you need time to process, it may be a good idea. Your best bet is to analyze the "why" behind your commitment to therapy and go from there. And remember: There are other types of mental health treatment beyond cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—here are 14 other styles to consider.
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