How To Manage Emotional Wellness During The Fertility Journey, From A Psychiatrist

The entire process can take an emotional toll on you and your partner, so it's important to check in with yourself along the way. As an integrative psychiatrist with a focus on maternal mental health, here are my five nonnegotiables for maintaining emotional wellness during the fertility journey:

Some women worry about how to answer questions regarding family planning when asked by people outside of their immediate support group, such as colleagues or neighbors. Just remember, you are in control of how much or little you disclose to them! I often work with my own patients to come up with a standard response—something kind and relevant but direct, such as We're trying to figure things out right now, and I'll let you know when that changes.

It can also be helpful to focus on shorter periods of time, such as embracing life on a day-by-day basis or, if that feels like too much at times, even a minute-by-minute basis. Instead of asking where you'll be in five years, consider where you are in the moment and what meaningful moments, thoughts, conversations, and plans you can incorporate in the next few hours. 

If you feel a sense of disappointment in your body, focus on exercises and moments that can help recreate a positive and healthy relationship between you and your body. This can look different depending on the person, but quiet time doing yoga, or looking in the mirror and expressing gratitude for yourself and your body, could be good places to start.

If we were to reframe these struggles as an us problem versus a you or me problem, it can help lessen blame and remind both partners they are on the same team. It can also help you to operate from a unified point when considering your next strategy, planning for the future, or simply checking in to see where you both are emotionally.

While navigating the pivots and bends of your fertility journey, it can be especially important to check in with yourself regarding your emotional health. At this moment, ask yourself: How are you right now, from an emotional and mental health standpoint? Could you benefit from some additional support?

Check in with your doctor about group support resources; a lot of other people in your community and nationwide are having their own unique fertility experiences, and there are many in-person and virtual support groups available for additional support!

Family planning can be an incredibly enriching but also emotionally challenging time for many. It is so important to check in with yourself to make sure you're staying emotionally well and that your most important relationships are staying healthy and supportive. Remember that there are always resources for additional support if needed!