A Harvard-Trained M.D. On The Missing Link In Your Health Routine
In a world obsessed with tracking steps, monitoring sleep, and quantifying every aspect of health, we often overlook what might be the most powerful indicator of well-being: how we feel.
Eva Selhub, M.D., a former Harvard Medical School instructor, mind-body medicine pioneer, and author of The Love Response, is changing that narrative by bringing emotional and spiritual health back to the center of the well-being conversation.
On the mindbodygreen podcast, Selhub draws from her extensive background as a Harvard Medical School instructor and Director of Mind-Body Medicine to explain how our feelings aren't just side effects of health—they're fundamental drivers of it.
With nearly three decades of experience blending cutting-edge science with spiritual wisdom, Selhub offers a refreshing perspective on resilience that goes beyond metrics and delves into what truly makes us thrive: the presence of love in our lives.
The six pillars of true resilience
We often think of resilience as a rare quality that only some people possess, but Selhub challenges this notion. "Everyone is resilient," she explains. "Resilience exists on a spectrum, with flourishing and vitality on one end and burnout on the other."
According to Selhub, six interconnected pillars support our ability to bounce back from adversity and even grow stronger through challenges:
- Physical vitality: Adequate rest, movement, and nourishment fuel your capacity to recover.
- Mental clarity: Mindfulness, curiosity, and a flexible mindset support adaptability.
- Emotional equilibrium: Using emotions as signals rather than letting them control us.
- Healthy relationships:Genuine connections buffer stress and foster belonging.
- Spiritual connection: A sense of meaning, through nature, purpose, or faith, boosts long-term health.
- Personal leadership: Owning your choices and how you show up in the world.
What connects these pillars isn't grit or determination—it's love. "For me, love is the connected thread," Selhub shares. "Love is a state where we feel connected, purposeful, grateful, and appreciative."
The language of resilience: How words shape our reality
One powerful yet often overlooked aspect of emotional well-being is the language we use with ourselves and others. Selhub explains that our words carry physical sensations that impact our bodies and brains in measurable ways.
Consider the difference between saying "I should exercise today" versus "I could exercise today." When you use "should," notice how your chest feels—likely contracted, heavy, or tight. This physical response triggers your brain to perceive the action as burdensome, making you less likely to follow through.
Simply changing "should" to "could" creates an entirely different physical sensation, one of openness and possibility. You're still acknowledging responsibility but meeting it with compassion rather than judgment.
How to build emotional resilience today
Selhub's approach is highly practical. She offers several strategies to strengthen your resilience through love-centered practices:
- Start with self-awareness: Pay attention to how you feel with different words, people, and foods. Notice the physical sensations that arise with various thoughts.
- Practice micro-mindfulness: Just 30 seconds of presence can shift your state.
- Use breath to reset: Set hourly reminders to take one deep, conscious breath.
- Anchor affirmations in emotion: Think of a joyful memory as you say something positive.
- Get into nature: Time outdoors helps regulate your nervous system and restore a sense of calm.
The takeaway
Selhub’s approach brings the heart back to healing, reminding us that resilience doesn’t require perfection. It simply asks for presence, self-compassion, and connection.
By embracing this compassionate approach to resilience, we don't just survive life's challenges—we transform through them, emerging stronger, more authentic, and more deeply connected to ourselves and the world around us.