Why You May Be Anxious About Isolation Ending, Even If You Miss Normal Life

As several states in the U.S. slowly start to reopen, you may be experiencing mixed emotions. On one hand, you're eager to see your friends, do things outside your home, and maybe even visit your favorite restaurants again. On the other hand, you may feel completely unsettled about returning to "normal" life.

"In general, uncertainty can make people anxious, and right now a lot of things are unclear," psychologist Patricia Thompson, Ph.D., tells mbg. First and foremost, the risk of COVID-19 is still prevalent. Without a treatment for the virus, you may feel unsafe going back out in public.

If you've been working from home, socially distancing from people outside your household has probably been simple enough. Suddenly having to use public transportation or be thrust into crowded buildings and sidewalks can be unnerving. Even if you're taking all the necessary safety precautions, you can't force the people around you to do the same. Figuring out how to tell people to keep their distance can be exhausting and anxiety-inducing.

Moreover, if you don't feel comfortable going into work right away or leaving your kids with childcare, how do you tell your boss? Will you lose your job? "People are worried that those factors could also cause additional financial strain," Thompson says. 

Adjusting to quarantine was hard enough—not being able to see friends, never finding time alone, adjusting to new responsibilities and routines, etc. These changes created a lot of stress, but over time we learned to adjust. "[We] might have even come to appreciate some of the benefits from our changed landscape—like the ability to avoid commutes, work more flexibly, go for a walk in the middle of the day, spend more time with kids, or take up new hobbies," Thompson says. 

Our current new normal—which took months to adjust to—is suddenly being upended again. When isolation lifts, we'll be forced to adapt to a new, new normal.

"It's almost like a form of whiplash," Thompson says. "One day, you're having to move in one direction. The next day, another one. It can be hard to feel a sense of normalcy or routine with so much in flux."

Thompson recommends recognizing that there are things that you can control and things that you cannot. "The truth is, this is uncharted territory for us—being able to surrender to it, to some extent, can be helpful." 

Surrendering to a situation does not mean you have to like it. It does, however, help to relieve undue worry and the pressure of trying to change something you can't. This is about protecting your energy from the exhaustion of hypervigilance.

Another way to assure your brain that you're safe, Cobb says, is to intentionally cultivate gratitude and thankfulness—even for the smallest joys.  

"Anxiety feeds off future fear and speculating," meditation teacher Light Watkins recently told mbg. "When we stay in the present, we tend to worry less and experience less anxiety." 

Amid a life that's constantly in flux, one thing you can do is to focus on following the recommendations from health officials, like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), as best you can and taking precautions that make you feel safe—hand-washing, wearing a mask, and limiting your social interactions.

Thompson also recommends continuing to focus on your own self-care, "whether it's writing in a journal, taking a hot bath, getting regular exercise, or meditating." You've probably picked up some good self-soothing habits during quarantine, and those are worth continuing even as life starts to transition again.

Adjusting to a new rhythm after you just figured out (or may still be figuring out) life in quarantine can be stressful. But letting go of what you can't control, grounding yourself in the present moment, and focusing on what you can control may help you adapt to your new circumstances.