A Self-Compassion Expert Explains Where Self-Care Often Falls Short

Self-care is a critical component of our overall well-being, and no one understands this better than Kristin Neff, Ph.D., a pioneer in the field of self-compassion and associate professor in human development at the University of Texas at Austin.

It goes without saying that we all need a good dose of self-care on a regular basis. "The research quite clearly shows that if you gave you more self-care, it's going to be good for you," Neff notes. But sometimes, giving yourself the attention you need may not feel accessible.

Of course, there are the more obvious limitations, like the time it takes to take a moment to yourself and, often, the money. But the biggest hurdle of them all, according to Neff, is more behavioral. "Self-care is very important," she says, "but we really need emotional self-care."

If you feel like no amount of "self-care" is getting to the root of what you're facing, Neff says the emotional component is likely lacking. After all, she notes, when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, whether on the job or as a parent, you can't always just say, Whoa, man, this is freaking me out. I have to take my bubble bath. See you later.

"In other words, how do we relate to our experiences of emotional pain, of fear, of stress, of depression, of sadness, grief, trauma right in the moment that it's arising?" Neff explains. When she's stressed, for example, she offers herself compassion.