Why Restricting Sweets From Kids Can Backfire + What To Do Instead, From Nutritionists

Feeding kids well is a top concern among parents and caregivers, and for good reason. Nutrition is essential for supporting a child's development, and we all hope our kids will grow up with an affinity for healthful eating.

As mamas, we understand the frustrations that can come with cultivating healthy nutrition habits. It's easy to turn into the food police and, before you know it, your child sees foods as "good" or "bad." However, even well-intentioned food restrictions often have the opposite effect.

Research shows that kids who are forbidden to eat unhealthy foods end up craving them more. Restricting these foods at home often leads to children associating them with shame and triggers habits like eating in secret or disordered eating1.

In other words, food restriction usually backfires. While it may limit intake in the moment, it encourages kids to eat beyond their hunger cues when they encounter these foods away from parents' watchful eyes. 

While we recommend limiting added sugar before age 2 (in line with WHO2 and AAP), we believe exposing older kids to sweets is a good idea. 

We’re fans of Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility, which outlines the roles of parent and child at mealtimes. Basically, it's your job to offer a variety of foods, and it's your child's job to decide what and how much of it to eat. This approach can also apply to sweets.

Remember, it's OK to eat something because you love it! Not all bites have to maximize nutrition. Instead, offer foods of varying healthfulness at the same meal without making a big deal of it. Treat candy like an apple, and act like you don't care whether they eat it. Also, never use sweets as bribery.

So, how does this work in practice? Serve treats regularly or as often as you eat them yourself. This can be at dessert or even with meals. By including a cookie alongside your dinner casserole, your child learns that dessert isn't all that exciting. 

Now, this doesn't mean you should keep junk food on the counter or allow a candy free-for-all. We're simply talking about taking the mystique away from unhealthy foods by normalizing them as part of an overall healthy diet. You're still in charge here, and you set the boundaries for when and where sweets and treats will be allowed. 

You also don't have to bring food into the house that isn't part of your family's diet. For example, if you don't drink soda, you don't have to keep it on hand for the purpose of exposure—they'll get enough of that in the real world!

Another great option is to include your child in the labor of love involved in making homemade desserts. This removes the idea that sweets only come in crinkly packages and demonstrates how treats can be part of a healthy diet. 

Removing food restrictions helps your child learn hunger and fullness cues, which are a major part of mindful eating.

You may be wondering: What happens if they overeat? What a good learning experience! When this happens, help them focus on how they feel when they eat more than their stomach needs rather than associating shame with eating too much.

While we recommend keeping less healthy foods out of sight until you decide to serve them again, trusting your kids around sweets empowers them to make healthy decisions on their own.

Helping kids develop a healthy relationship with food is important regardless of what diet your family follows. While firm boundaries may be helpful for homework, they're likely to backfire when used to restrict sweets. Nutrition is a long game. Taking a structured, but not restricted, approach can set your child up for success.