The Most Important Body Part To Stimulate For Great Sex

Here are seven tips to optimize your brain so you can optimize your bliss:

Research shows that a lot of anxiety comes from comparing yourself. One survey found that 59 percent of women who consider themselves overweight try to cover up some part of their body during sex. It's tough to really enjoy your intimacy with your partner when you're concerned about looking perfect or performing with perfection. Instead of comparing yourself to others, embrace how you look and who you are. You don't have to be perfect because you're better than perfect—you are real.

The goal is not to "go all night." In fact, the ideal amount of time for lovemaking appears to be between 7 and 13 minutes. You also don't need to try sexual positions that require the flexibility of a gymnast. If you are focused on doing it "right" with your inner critic telling you that you are not succeeding, it's tough to enjoy the experience. The goal is for you and your partner to enjoy each other.

When your mind is focused on work, kids, items on your to-do list, all the things you should be accomplishing now, how you messed up the presentation earlier today…it is tough to get in the mood. Instead, focus your mind on the "task" at hand. Be present without being judgmental toward yourself or thinking about the past or the future. Focus on all of your sensations, really paying attention to how the experience feels to you.

Each body is different, and what is arousing to one person may not be to the other. It is important for you to know what feels good to you and then communicate that to your partner. Thoughts such as "he should know what I want" or "she should do X" only prevent you from having an optimal experience. Instead, communicate. Let your partner overtly know what you want in an assertive and playful way.

The environment has a huge impact on how you feel and what you say to yourself. Getting into the mood for you may include listening to certain music and allowing yourself to dance around, creating a romantic atmosphere, wearing clothing that feels comfortable or sexy, candles... Even smells can have a huge impact on your experience. Cucumber, for example, and baby powder have been shown to have a physiological impact, increasing vaginal blood flow by 13 percent.

Here I'm not talking about a workout during your intimate time but rather before. Working out can have a positive impact on your sex life. Why? Exercise affects your levels of dopamine, which helps you reduce stress and feel happier. So go for a walk at lunch; your after-dinner activity will be even more enjoyable.

The goal is not to have perfect sex but what I would call better than perfect sex—enjoying the experience instead of letting that inner critic take over.