Got A Toxic Person In Your Life? These Are The Most Important Things You Need To Know

It happens to most of us at one point or another: One of your closest friends who has always been on your side starts to change—you notice she complains about everything and starts making hurtful comments. When you protest, she says, "You're so sensitive. I was just kidding." Other people have thought of her as a bully, but she never treated you that way—only now you see what they meant.

Another example? Your co-worker, who has always been a mellow, balanced sounding board for problems at work, now responds to the smallest complaint with outbursts saying how terrible the organization is and how the corporate world is ruining everything. In all three of these situations, you find yourself trapped in someone else’s negativity, and whatever you do or say to get out of the snare seems to make it worse. What these people share is that their anger, resentment, and frustration affect your well-being, happiness, and peace of mind.

A toxic person is not just someone who annoys you, who is dating your old boyfriend, or who challenges you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. There is a spectrum of "negative" people.

Some people are moaners and whiners—it’s their nature, and some even develop a kind of charming humor about being complainers. Then there are the comedians who have built their social persona on their ability to talk cleverly about politics, work, and other people in wickedly funny ways and who complain about their own lives in ways that people can understand and laugh at. Others just rub us the wrong way.

Recent research from Friedrich Schiller University in Germany discovered that exposure to stimuli that causes strong negative emotions—the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people—also causes a massive stress response in subjects' brains. Studying 10,000 people for over 12 years, he found that people in negative relationships had a greater risk of developing heart problems and issues with inflammation and low immunity.

Remember that although the phrase has gained momentum in the past few years, nobody really has poison in their blood. The term "toxic person" is a label that describes behavior and not the human being. At this moment in time, it's especially important to not label people. Acceptance is key.

Although we may choose to stay away from toxic behavior, behind that behavior is often a human being in pain. Perhaps our well-being is dependent on creating a wide space between them and us, but they are still worthy of our compassion and a wish for healing of their misery. Our health is also dependent on being able to remember the meaning of namaste: I bow to the best of you and wish you well, even if I need to back away.