6 Little Ways To Nurture Your Relationship In 2022, From Marriage Therapists

Like most things in life, relationships require attention and care for them to flourish—no matter how long you've been together. So, if you've been cruising on autopilot in this part of your life, the start of a new year is the perfect time to recommit to giving your relationship a little more intentional TLC. As you're starting to formulate dreams and plans for 2022, consider adding at least one action item related to your relationship that you want to commit to doing this year.

"Express appreciation often," recommends licensed psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist Lauren Fogel Mersy, Psy.D., LP. "Everyone needs to know that they are appreciated, both for who they are and what they contribute to the relationship."

Research studies have found that partners who feel more appreciated tend to be significantly happier in their relationships, according to Holly Richmond, Ph.D., LMFT, AASECT-certified sex therapist and author of Reclaiming Pleasure.

If you know you and your partner can sometimes slip into heated arguments, consider going into 2022 with this mindset shift recommended by Richmond: giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

"When most couples argue, the misunderstanding isn't based in malice but rather mindlessness. Almost no one wants to deliberately irritate their partner, and none of us is perfect and often forget or overlook some of their key needs," she explains. "Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt allows room for a productive conversation rather than an argument that immediately turns defensive.”

That might look like rather than assuming the worst about your partner's intentions or actions, simply telling them about how a situation makes you feel and trying to actively listen to their perspective. If you can empathetically understand each other's feelings, you can then figure out solutions to avoid similar hurt feelings in the future.

Rituals can help couples routinely create moments to connect and bond with each other. One fun one to consider? A couple's book club. "Do a mini book club with your partner, choosing a relationship self-help book each month," recommends Jessa Zimmerman, M.A., AASECT-certified sex therapist and licensed couples' counselor.

Another ritual to consider for this year: a relationship check-in. Zimmerman recommends couples schedule a check-in weekly, where they can talk about both what's going right and what could be better in their relationship. "Lead off with gratitude and appreciation, but also be willing to bring up concerns in a spirit of addressing them as a team," she says.

"A healthy sex life is an integral part of a healthy relational life, and to have great sex you must talk about it," Richmond says.

Ask your partner if they'd be down to have an evening dedicated to talking about your sex life—what you love about it, what you want more and less of, and how you can make sure each partner is feeling satisfied and supported.

"Being intentional is the new being sexy for 2022," says licensed marriage therapist Beverley Andre, LMFT. "Intentional means doing the mental work, aka planning. If you want to nurture your relationship, you have to think ahead and figure out all the pieces and parts of what it will take to actually improve your relationship."

Andre recommends setting an "intention challenge" for the year. The challenge is simple: Create a list of 12 gestures to do for your partner, one for each month of the year. To determine these gestures, she suggests learning about your partner's love language so you can deliver gestures that speak to them personally.