Everything You Need To Know About Choosing The Right Vaginal Lubricant

Sure, you may not want to be the person who "needs" a vaginal lubricant, but the truth is, a little dryness down south is not uncommon—and no, it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. While the vagina normally self-lubricates during sexual arousal, a variety of factors could leave you feeling a tad dry, from fluctuating hormones to age to certain meds to inadequate foreplay.

If you're not producing enough natural lubrication, you don't want to power through it and hope for the best either. This could lead to loads of discomfort, chafing, and even damage to the vaginal lining.

Loads of different things, but the largest group of women who could benefit from lube are postmenopausal women. "When estrogen levels fall, which is what happens with menopause, the vagina tends to get dry; and the further into menopause, the drier women tend to get," says Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., OB/GYN, clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive sciences at Yale School of Medicine.  

In addition to a natural decline in hormones as we age, there are many different causes of vaginal dryness, some of which you may never have considered, including medications like birth control, antihistamines, certain antidepressants, and anticholinergic medications, as well as stress and anxiety, douching, soaps, and perfumes.

You may want to avoid lubricants with added fragrances, flavors, and warming or tingling properties, which could potentially be irritating to sensitive vulvar and vaginal skin, advises Minkin.

More specifically, consider avoiding products containing parabens, which are known endocrine disrupters and can act like a very weak estrogen in the body; propylene glycol, a form of alcohol that could be irritating to sensitive skin; and glycerin (often used to flavor or sweeten lubes), which can promote yeast infections.

Additionally, you should never use a product strictly intended for external use, like petroleum jelly (Vaseline) or mineral oil (including baby oil)—these have been associated with increased risk of yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis as well as candida among women who use them as a personal lubricant.

Water-based lubricants are often considered the most versatile and natural, and they can be safely used with condoms and sex toys (silicone lubricants can break down sex toys over time, while oil-based lubricants are not safe for use with condoms). They can, however, get sticky and tacky a bit more quickly than silicone-based lubes, so you may have to reapply more frequently, but they do have the added benefit of washing off very easily. Many natural water-based lubricants also contain aloe vera, which lends a nice soothing quality.

Be aware that flavored and warming lubricants often contain glycerin, which lends a slightly sweet taste that may be enjoyable for some during oral sex. However, glycerin is known to1 increase the risk of yeast infections, damage or irritate epithelial cells, and may increase the transmission of STIs like herpes.

Like water-based lubricants, silicone-based lubricants are safe for use with condoms, and many hypoallergenic options are available. They're also the longest-lasting of all personal lubricants and hold up well when exposed to water—in case shower sex is your thing. You will need some soapy water to wash them off though. One caveat: Silicone lubricants should not be used with sex toys that are also made of silicone (which is most of them) as they can break them down over time.

One hard-and-fast rule: Never use an oil-based lubricant with latex condoms, as these will break down the condom, rendering them ineffective. And, as mentioned above, you should always steer clear of synthetic oil-based products such as petroleum jelly and mineral oil—these are not intended to be personal lubricants, and they can cause irritation and increased risk of infection.

Now that we have that out of the way, natural oil-based lubricants can be a great nonirritating lube choice if you're not using condoms. When it comes to oil-based lubes, you can certainly go the DIY route—coconut oil, avocado oil, MCT oil, and almond oil are all good options. Gynecologist and sexual health expert Anna Cabeca, D.O., recommends a simple combo of coconut oil, aloe vera, and soothing essential oils like clary sage (find her recipe here). But there are plenty of preformulated oil-based lubes out there as well.

Women who are trying to conceive should pay extra-special attention to the type of personal lubricant they use. Many lubricants are not sperm-friendly (they inhibit sperm survival and motility), so if you are trying to get pregnant, a fertility-friendly lubricant like Pre-Seed is a good idea, says Minkin. Fertility-friendly lubes are typically pH balanced to mimic your cervical mucus.