The 5 Types Of Intimacy That Exist + How To Build Them In A Relationship

Ahead, therapists break down all five types of intimacy and why we need to foster them all to create a more holistic connection and closeness with your partner.

As psychologist Karin Anderson Abrell, Ph.D., previously told mbg, intimacy in relationships creates a feeling of social support. "A myriad of studies1 find those of us with solid and reliable social support fare better in a variety of realms—including our emotional and psychological well-being and even our physical health," she notes.

According to marriage therapist Kiaundra Jackson, LMFT, touch is important to relationships because it triggers the release of oxytocin and other feel-good hormones. "Oxytocin is known as the bonding hormone. That hormone is the same hormone released between a newborn baby and its mother, which is why skin-to-skin contact is highly recommended for bonding after childbirth," she previously told mbg.

We confide in people whom we trust. That doesn't mean they always tell us what we want to hear, but we believe they won't repeat anything we share in confidence. We also don't expect them to embarrass or belittle us.

Comfort with communicating beliefs and viewpoints without worrying about potential conflicts creates intellectual intimacy. Each person in the relationship has the freedom to think for themselves and believes that their opinions are valued—instead of feeling pressured to agree. This atmosphere encourages stimulating conversation. You feel closer to the person who cares for you independent of differences and respects your voice.

The term sapiosexual refers to someone who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing. Allowing for thought-provoking conversation that challenges each person's ideas is another formidable method of bonding in a relationship—as long as no one feels personally attacked.

"Our memories are closely linked to our senses," relationship coach Kingsley Moyo tells mbg. Moyo references how we can recall the odor of burned rubber even if we haven't smelled it in a while. He likens experiential intimacy to social media actions, stating that "we tag people and events with an associated sense." Moyo goes on to explain that recalling moments triggers involuntary sensory reactions. If the moment was pleasurable, it prompts that same energy when relived.

Religious practice isn't necessary for spiritual intimacy, though it can serve the purpose. This closeness forms when you share poignant moments with your partner. Though praying and worshipping as a couple could qualify as one such moment, there are many other examples of spiritual intimacy.

Spiritual intimacy allows for transcendent connection—beyond logic and conscious thought. It helps to be deliberate in improving this type of closeness. Although, sometimes, these instances may just happen since they can occur outside your realm of influence.

In addition to making sex and physical touch priorities in your relationship, there are many ways to have more romantic sex too, such as making use of eye gazing, kissing, and more intimate sex positions with your partner. Some people also draw a distinction between "making love" and having sex, which can help you think about the ways in which you infuse intimacy into your sexual experiences.

You can foster emotional intimacy in your relationships by engaging in deeper, more introspective conversation together, talking about emotions and experiences you don't usually share with others. Likewise, ask your partner thoughtful questions and be curious about the way they think and feel. Listen to understand rather than waiting to respond. Always be careful not to invalidate their feelings, so that you can establish an environment conducive to open, honest dialogue.

You can create more intellectual intimacy by sparking discussions where you and your partner have different perspectives. Make a conscious effort to have these talks without growing defensive or angry. Disagreement isn't a requirement, however. You can also discuss ideas and abstract concepts that you're exploring together. This type of intimacy is about connecting through logic and philosophical expression.

Each person in a couple can have separate lives. You don't have to collaborate on everything, but it's crucial to have shared experiences. This way, your intimacy is interwoven with memories and acquired knowledge. It exists in multiple spaces.

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The nonphysical types of intimacy listed here are four types of relationships that you can have with the same person. Healthy relationships involve relating on multiple levels, not just physical. Learning to engage in open, truthful communication, as well as working to understand your partner, will help establish the intangible feeling of closeness that will strengthen your love life.