3 Tips To Release Stuck Emotions, From A Therapist & Trauma Specialist

Trauma is a tricky thing to process. You see, negative effects of trauma can persist over time—and they can potentially be physically "stored" in your body. Unless you do the work to release that stored trauma, all of that buried tension can become, well, stuck. "Our bodies record every moment of every second that we live," says licensed psychotherapist and trauma specialist Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, author of The Science of Stuck, on this episode of the mindbodygreen podcast. Now, a body-based problem may require a body-based solution, but once you address the physiology behind your fight, flight, or freeze response, you can start to unravel your trauma using mindful approaches. 

A quick caveat: There isn't one end-all, be-all way to heal your trauma. In fact, Frank says the trauma-healing space can become a bit cult-like (and Frank would know; she once joined a fundamentalist cult). "The defining feature of a cult is this binary of 'us versus them.' The cult of trauma healing I've noticed is [when people say], 'Here's how you heal trauma, and if you don't do it this way, then you're out,'" she explains. 

"The biggest barrier to trauma healing is honoring that you have it," says Frank. See, trauma has such an intense connotation, like some gargantuan force is taking hold of your psyche and making you suffer. And, sure, trauma can be uncomfortable (sometimes even painful), but it doesn't have to define your entire life. Trauma looks different for everyone, after all, and it can be quite subtle for some. "It's like indigestion," Frank explains. "It's not an illness. It's not a disease. It's just that your brain didn't metabolize an experience." 

Whenever someone is experiencing negative emotions (be it trauma, anger, or feelings of overwhelm), the first question they tend to ask is Why am I feeling this way? "That is not the starting question," says Frank. "You don't walk up to a burning building and ask Why is this building on fire? The first question is: What do we need to do to get the people out? You figure out why later." 

She calls this "analysis paralysis," as the introspection keeps you from actually making any progress. The solution? Change the why question to a what question: "What are my actual choices right now? What are my resources? What am I willing to say 'yes' to today?" That "yes" question is the kicker, as it helps propel you forward—even if it's just a baby step. "Stuck turns into unstuck the second you say 'yes' to anything of any degree in any direction," notes Frank.