These 5 Simple Practices Are Crucial For Building Babies' Brains During Early Development

In life, there are those singular moments that change you forever. Even as you're experiencing them, you recognize their importance. Seeing your baby for the first time, having her placed into your arms, is one of those moments. The greatest mystery of all is that we live and reproduce, and that we love this new little stranger completely. This is nature's way of assuring the survival of our species. And we are immediately caught in the split between fear and overwhelming love. Fear, because baby doesn't come with any instructions, and suddenly you recognize the overpowering responsibility of being a parent; and love, because nature has conspired to demand your self-sacrifice, commitment, responsibility, and obligation to assure baby's well-being.

Soon you will learn all about your baby. You will recognize the difference between cries of exhaustion, frustration, anger, or hunger. You will be able to distinguish between a reflex smile, a genuine smile, or a grin that indicates trouble ahead. Right from the beginning, baby responds to your reactions. In the earliest days of your baby's life, you become a master of the essentials that assure the survival of your baby. As much as you are learning about your baby, consider that the developing brain of your baby is learning a thousand times more about you. Thus, the most important voice baby ever hears, and the most important face she ever sees, from birth through childhood, is yours. 

Every song you sing, every cuddle you give, every game of peekaboo, and every giggle are all creating the scaffolding for your baby's future endeavors. For example, a talent for art and music or a gift for sports or social skills is tracked by these neural pathways initiated through the interaction of you and your baby. Bonding between you and your child is the most central ingredient to the success of this process. Your child needs not only your loving presence but also your time and attention. Today, new technology such as the PET scan (positron emission tomography) and the MRI give us a window into your baby's brain so that you can see with your own eyes the way it reacts to specific outside stimulation. 

Your baby is a regular little Pac-Man, finding interest everywhere, including sounds, voices, lights, shadows, colors, mobiles, and experiences of all kinds. By responding to your baby's sense of excitement and wonder, you support a feeling of well-being as he observes that you are validating his explorations. Paying attention and actively listening to your baby fosters his sense of well-being and value. Ultimately, your baby’s behavior becomes focused, as he deliberately elicits your positive responses. Your reactions are everything to him, as you are his world, and he defines himself through his interactions with you. In a sense, this collaboration with your baby will either turn on or turn off his particular genetic dispositions. Consequently, what makes your baby unique are these very experiences crafted by you.

She's finally here: your brand-new bundle of joy. Cradling her in your arms, you gaze at your new baby and feel...nothing. You are not overwhelmed with joy or happiness, and you are not overcome with love and sweet emotions as you imagined you would be, and as you have been told you should be. You wonder: I've been so excited about this baby, and now that she's here, I don't feel any bond at all. What's wrong with me? 

First, know that you are not alone and that these feelings are shared by others. There are many possible reasons you feel unable to bond with your new baby, and just because you feel this way today does not mean it will be this way forever. 

You cannot spoil a baby. In fact, the more you bond with your baby now, the more she will learn to trust you. If your child feels secure in her attachment to you, she will more likely grow up to be a more independent adult."