Is Kindness The Secret To Better Health? (+ 3 Ways To Be Kind Today)

There is a revolution going on in medicine.

Until recently, most people thought about staying healthy in terms of lifestyle choices such as diet, exercise, sleep, and the occasional doctor's visit. While access to quality medical care remains critical, ample research shows that what happens in hospitals and clinics is just a small piece of the larger well-being puzzle. We now know that kindness is critical to physical health.

In the late 1970s, researchers were trying to understand the relationship between diet and heart health. So scientist Robert Nerem, Ph.D., and his team designed a very straightforward experiment: They gave nearly genetically identical rabbits the same high-fat diet. At the end of the study, the team expected all the measures of health to be the same for all the rabbits. 

Surprisingly, one group had far better (60% better, in fact) health markers than the others. There was no clear biological explanation for the difference. It turns out, the difference was in the researchers. It seemed the rabbits that fared better were all cared for by the same researcher, a particularly kind and caring individual. She wasn't just feeding the rabbits kibble. She picked them up, pet them, and talked to them. In other words, she showed them kindness. 

Since Nerem's study, four decades of population research has shown that our social world is the major determinate of our health. Meanwhile, good medical care likely only accounts for 10 to 20% of our overall health status1. As I describe in my book, The Rabbit Effect, the vast majority of our health is determined by how we are treated in our day-to-day lives at home, in relationships, in workplaces, schools, neighborhoods, and the broader community.  

And it comes down to kindness and positive connections with others.

Kindness influences health and aging on a microscopic cellular level. For example, welcome physical contact, like a supportive hug from a loved one, releases a cascade of feel-good hormones like oxytocin and serotonin. It also protects against infections. One study exposed 400 healthy volunteers to the cold virus and found those who received daily hugs were 32% less likely to get sick2. Even those who got sick, but received hugs, didn't get as sick for as long. 

Increasing research shows repeated kindness, such as the TLC a parent offers a child, alters gene expression through a process known as epigenetics. In other words, the DNA itself doesn't change, but how the genetic code is translated does. In this way, supportive relationships and environments help people live longer and better.  

Exciting advances in genetics show that the protective DNA caps called telomeres extend or shorten in response to supportive or stressful relationships and environments. Longer telomere buffers are associated with longer life span and reduced incidence of disease.

Positive relationships buffer stress, which improves immune functioning, blood pressure, mood, and recovery after injury. In fact, an 80-year longitudinal Harvard Study of adult development found that the biggest predictor of a long healthy life wasn't money, fame, intelligence, or even genes—it was the strength of participants' relationships. Another study that followed 1,138 healthy older adults over time found social activity in itself (controlling for other factors) appears protective for brain functioning3 and lowered dementia risk by as much as 70%. 

Just as positive relationships reduce cortisol, inflammation, and pain, we know that chronic loneliness4 is a significant risk factor for illness. It increases the risk of heart attacks, strokes, and premature death and is as significant a risk factor to health as well-established risk factors such as smoking, alcoholism, high blood pressure, or obesity. 

Think about a time someone was unexpectedly kind to you. Maybe it was a friend by your side when you needed one, or a colleague who supported your work unprompted, or a casserole from a neighbor when you were sick. Think about how the kindness made you feel—likely cared for, supported, and loved. Now consider saying thanks for that kindness via a text, call, or handwritten note. 

There is no statute of limitations for a thank you, even if it's been a long time. An attitude of gratitude is one of the fastest ways to strengthen your relationships at home, work, school, and beyond. Plus, side effects may include improved sleep5, better well-being, reduced inflammation, and even lower blood sugar6. 

We're in an unprecedented relationship with technology. And time spent staring at an iPhone often eclipses time spent looking in the eyes of another human being. So be intentional about connecting with others around you. While this may mean your partner or kids, evidence suggests that every bit of social contact counts to boost happiness7. 

Our social world is dynamic. Your kind actions brighten the day of another who may brighten the day of another and so on and so on. Kindness creates a ripple effect of good. 

We all participate in this interactive fluid system during every moment of our lives. The hug you give your partner in the morning may affect how they treat another driver on the road on the way to work, which may affect how that person treats a co-worker at the office. In turn, that co-worker may be in a better mood at home with her family that evening and affect how well her kids sleep that night. Each small decision to be kind can boost well-being or aggravate stress levels in ourselves and others. And it's in our control.