This Is What It Really Means To Have A "Superiority Complex"

A person is said to have a superiority complex when they have an overly exaggerated, confident, or inflated view of themselves. As a result, this may cause them to treat others in ways that are condescending or demeaning, although they don't always have self-awareness to know this is how they are coming across to people, according to licensed mental health counselor Hailey Shafir, M.Ed., LCMHCS, LCAS, CCS.

The term was originally coined in the early 20th century by psychologist Alfred Adler, who believed the complex to be a way of hiding low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, or not feeling good enough. 

"Superiority complexes usually are defense mechanisms that come from deep personal insecurities, shame, and feelings of being inadequate in some way. Because shame is such a distressing and uncomfortable emotion, a person may use their defenses to hide these feelings from others, deny them in themselves, and avoid having to experience them," Shafir explains.

This doesn't mean that if you know you're better than your friend at taking care of plants you have a superiority complex. However, if you start to believe you're not only better than your friend at taking care of plants but everyone around you, even professional horticulturists, you could be dipping into self-inflation or grandiosity. 

Sure, we go through moments where we feel upset or hurt that someone overlooked an important achievement or ignored something we've created. But for someone with a superiority complex, it's a lot more intense.

Mosley says someone with a superiority complex will often feel that by virtue of their presence in the world, they are entitled to more love, attention, and recognition than the average person. Many times, they attach this to some skill or trait they believe is more valuable than others.

While there isn't a single root cause, there are identifiable links between certain life occurrences and the development of a superiority complex. Our childhood experiences—particularly the things our parents did or didn't do—play a significant role in shaping who we become. Between the ages of 5 and 12, children begin seeking validation, and this stage of development requires careful navigation since one of the most common links is a disruption in a child's early identity formation.

"For example, a child [may] experience trauma relating to their ability to draw well, and other kids or caretakers laugh at the child's artistic skills. While some children may deal with this through retreating into themselves, another child may develop an inflated sense of themselves to compensate for feelings of inferiority," Mosley tells mbg.

A superiority complex and an inferiority complex are both reflections of the way we feel about ourselves. In both cases, there is an inability to accurately see one's worth, skill level, or likability in comparison to others, but the complexes can manifest in different ways. 

"Superiority complex refers to the feeling of superiority or 'being better' than others and having an inflated self-worth, whereas inferiority complex is the feeling of worthlessness or 'being inferior' to others. While the former is overly confident, the latter tends to doubt their abilities," Maurya says.

Additionally, someone dealing with a superiority complex may hide feelings of low self-esteem and self-worth, while an inferiority complex might hide ambition and aspirations as the person attempts to hide their achievements. Brian Wind, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and chief clinical officer of Journey Pure, says the theory of individual psychology dictates that we all are working hard to improve our skills and achieve more to overcome inherent feelings of inferiority so that we can be successful in our own eyes. 

Much like a superiority complex, narcissism causes someone to have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, but there are a few differences. Narcissism also brings about a lack of empathy and an extreme need to be liked and accepted. Narcissists can have a superiority complex, which makes people feel that they have high self-esteem, but in reality, they don't. 

"All narcissists will mostly have an inflated self-worth, but every person with a superiority complex will not have narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissists do not value anybody, always belittle others, lack empathy, and want to be liked by everyone," Maurya says. "They can seem similar because they can throw tantrums and show aggression."

It's worth noting that a "superiority complex is not a diagnosis in and of itself, and theoretically can be treated through therapy and a willingness to examine the roots and consequences of the behaviors and attitudes causing impairment," according to Mosley. On the other hand, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be diagnosed, and it's more deeply entrenched and difficult to treat because the person is often unconvinced that there is a problem that needs to be treated.

Dealing with someone who has a superiority complex will require quite a bit of patience and empathy. Sure, that may sound like a tall order when this person is behaving arrogantly or defiantly, but it could be worth the effort.

"Remembering that the person must be feeling terrible pain in the moment that they are behaving obnoxiously, or when they're being boastful or dismissive. It may be difficult to employ empathy, particularly if you're in their line of fire, but it helps give those suffering from a superiority flare-up accurate positive mirroring," Mosley says.

While exercising patience and showing empathy, try not to feed into their grandiose visions of themselves. Instead, tell them something they are truly good at while balancing it with something that may be more accurate about their performance or skill. If they've become abusive, hurtful, or vitriolic, tell them that they're being unkind or arrogant.

Having a superiority complex doesn't automatically mean you're a horrible person who should be shunned. With the right tools, this can be navigated and lead to healthy and meaningful relationships with those around you and, more importantly, yourself.