The Essential Precursor To Active Listening That Most People Miss

Being aware of your body, and developing a posture that is upright, aligned, and grounded but also relaxed, is surprisingly helpful in developing attunement—the ability to be aware of our own state of mind and body while also tuning in and connecting to another person.

An important part of attunement is physical, whether we're conscious of it or not. Even if we have no physical contact with another person, attunement involves the use of body language, facial expression, and the coordination of our own movements with the other person's.

Virtually all of us carry around layers of tension in our bodies, often without even knowing it. This tension leads to misalignment that can interfere with our ability to tune in to ourselves or to others. The tension can stem from too much time sitting at the computer or using our smartphones, or it can develop from years of chronic stress and trauma that infiltrate our lives to varying degrees.

The suggested stretching and loosening exercises found here are often used in tai chi. They emphasize loosening up areas of the body that tend to get tense in our daily lives, especially the neck, shoulders, back, and hamstrings. We describe them briefly here, but you can also find more details and video demonstrations at MissingEachOther.com.