10 Signs You're Too Afraid Of What Other People Think

So, how do you know if you're too afraid of what others think? Here are some red alerts:

I'm not suggesting you need to speak every thought you think. Some people are just plain rude under the guise of "speaking my truth." But every time you fail to express what is true for you, you activate a stress response that weakens your body's natural self-healing mechanisms and puts your body at risk. Plus, you violate your soul. And if you don't learn to honor the quiet rumblings of the soul, the Universe may smack you over the head until you start honoring your truth.

If you find yourself morphing to fit your social surroundings, you're probably afraid others won't like you if you're different. And sometimes you're right. The price of authenticity is that you won't comfortably fit in everywhere. But it's worth the risk, because only when you're brave enough to be unapologetically YOU will you truly find your people.

Of course, women are guilty of lying and men are guilty of shaming her truth, too. But in male/female dynamics, men can be particularly guilty of lying and women tend to get hurt if men are truthful and then shame them if they're not. It's lose-lose. We're better off dealing with our fear and finding the courage to love and respect each other's truth, without shame.

That's just fear in a Little Monster disguise. This is why people nod their heads in that scene with Julia Roberts in the movie Runaway Bride, where she doesn't know how she likes her eggs for breaksfast because she's been copying every man she dates. You forget that the ones who really love you just want YOU, not some copycat version of you.

In order to feel nurtured by our true soul communities, we have to overcome the fear of rejection that comes with worrying that others won't like us when we're being ourselves.

You're a Mets fan in the middle of San Francisco. You're at Fashion Week in Manhattan, but you're a sucker for hoodies and Ugg boots. If you're too afraid of what others will think, you'll feel pressured to follow the crowd, even if it means selling yourself out. Doing so activates stress responses that are harmful to your body. But it also keeps others from recognizing the unique quirks that connect us. You just never know when you'll run into another Mets fan, if you're brave enough to be all you, all the time.

When you deal with your fear of what everyone else is thinking, you're better able to practice what my friend Stella Osorojos calls "now-walking" — staying in present time, free from fear, navigating only what presents itself right here, right now.

Striving for excellence is a property of the soul, a yearning to fulfill our purpose impeccably. But perfectionism stems from fear — fear of rejection, fear of not being enough, fear of abandonment.

Think of all the times you've had great news to share. You want to shout it from the rooftops! But you don't. Because you're afraid it'll sound like bragging. Or you're worried someone else will judge you. Or you're concerned that you'll make someone else jealous. So you turn down the dial on your sparkle. But when you do, you rob us all of the gift of your light. And Lord knows, we can use a little more light in the world — the light of the real you.

Then your whole life becomes a love letter to that true self. After all, that's just the Divine manifesting through you as the pure essence of who you really are. Which is much too beautiful, precious, and unique to hide behind a mask.