5 Powerful Changes To Make To Your Sex Life In 2022, From Sexuality Experts

It's 2022, and conversations around sexuality have evolved tremendously. We know more than ever before about the science of orgasms, fostering desire, and all the different ways we can experience sexuality. There are virtually infinite resources out there, from books and podcasts to courses and retreats, dedicated to helping us tap into all the good feelings to which our bodies have access.

"One of the most powerful changes couples can make to their sex life is to talk more about sex," says Holly Richmond, Ph.D., LMFT, AASECT-certified sex therapist and author of Reclaiming Pleasure.

To have great sex, you must be able to talk about it. When was the last time you talked to your partner about which types of touch you like the most—and least? Do you know your partner's wildest fantasies? What are the things that make them in the mood for sex—and not in the mood for sex?

Whether you're single or partnered, sex and dating coach Myisha Battle, M.S., recommends making time for solo sex at least once a week.

"It's a great way to stay in touch with your sexual energy as well as learn about what your body likes," she explains. "Allow yourself to explore your desires through porn or erotica, have fun, and take notes about what you like and don't like!"

Some people may feel uncomfortable masturbating when they're in a relationship, or they let their masturbation practice subside in favor of partnered sex. But Battle says anyone and everyone can benefit from masturbating regularly, including people in long-term relationships.

"Masturbation can help you be less dependent on your partner's availability for sex. This change opens up so much for people who overly rely on others to be sexual. You can be your most reliable source for sexual pleasure no matter what your relationship status is," she says. 

Whether or not we realize it, what we do outside the bedroom can have a big impact on how we feel when we're actually having sex. That's why one thing that licensed psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist Lauren Fogel Mersy, Psy.D., L.P., recommends to those seeking better sex is to start a mindfulness practice.

"A regular practice of being present in the moment without judgment may transfer to your sex life, which will likely improve your experience," she explains. "Being present in the moment is when sex can feel most pleasurable and connected. It's when we are most in touch with our bodies and our partners."

What does eroticism mean to you?

"We each have things that we find arousing," AASECT-certified sex therapist and licensed couples' counselor Jessa Zimmerman, M.A., tells mbg. "You can tune in to yours by thinking about your best sexual experiences, your fantasies, and your response to various erotic media."

Zimmerman recommends taking time to explore what you find erotic and then (if you're in a relationship) sharing that with your partner—and asking them about their version of eroticism, too.

If you're in a long-term relationship, Zimmerman recommends making an active commitment as a couple to prioritize novelty.