20 Simple Ways To Make Friends As An Adult, Recommended By Experts

Whether you just moved to a new neighborhood or just are at a time in your life when feel like your social life has been lacking, making friends as an adult can be a difficult feat.

Growing up, we have school, sports teams, and extracurriculars to fill our social calendars. But as we get older, opportunities to meet new people may seem few and far between. People settle into marriages and have children, work life gets busy, maybe you move to a new city recently, or you are simply an introvert. And all of these things can be hurdles to making close friends.

For one thing, research shows1 that the more time you spend with someone, the more likely you are to feel an emotional closeness and depth of friendship with them. But of course, the older we get, the less free time we tend to have.

Further, we tend to be a bit more forgiving for the differences of others when we're young. Things like politics, religion, and even social status are not typically on the minds of elementary school students, but for folks in their 30s, 40s, and beyond, they may be a bit pickier in terms of what they're looking for (or willing to tolerate) in their friends.

According to board-certified psychiatrist Roxanna Namavar, D.O., the way we perceive the world frames our whole life. If you go into social scenarios or approach making new friends with negativity, you aren't going to get too far. This is law of attraction 101—we have to focus on what makes us feel good. If all we focus on is our lack of new friends, we're reinforcing that reality.

There are plenty of in-person and virtual interest groups you can take advantage of to help you meet new friends. As psychologist Nicole Beurkens, Ph.D., explains to mbg, "One of the easiest ways to connect with people who might be friendship material is to engage in group activities around your interests."

"One of my favorite ways to make friends as an adult is Meetup," says somatic psychologist Holly Richmond, Ph.D. "There's also My Social Calendar."

Engaging in things you enjoy, whatever they are, "can reduce fears of awkwardness by giving you something to focus on besides the people involved," Beurkens adds.

When we're meeting new people, our insecurities can get the best of us, Richmond explains—but it goes both ways. It's important to remember a new friend is just a person like you, who's also got their own insecurities.

In the age of social media, there are innumerable casual acquaintances always available at our fingertips. Why not reach out to one of them? As Richmond tells mbg, relationships are always evolving: "You can know someone for years and one day just click," she says. "Timing is everything, so give those old relationships a new chance or a new view."

Mutual friends are a great place to start as well, Namavar notes. "Sometimes it makes it easier to be social if a friend is with you that you already feel comfortable with," she says. Plus, if they already get along with one of your friends, there's a good chance you'll like them too.

You might have to go outside your comfort zone and try new things to make new connections. "The key is to be willing to put yourself out there to engage with other people you don't know," Beurkens says. Of course, this can be intimidating, "especially for people who are shy or experience some social anxiety," she adds, "but taking the risk to meet new people is what leads to the reward of developing new relationships."

"We're programmed to be afraid of rejection, but no connections that are worthwhile happen without vulnerability," Richmond says. For this reason, having a strong enough sense of self so you can be OK with a friendship not working out is important. Don't be afraid to be yourself—otherwise, how will you make friends who see and accept the real you?

And lastly, know it takes time to build strong relationships. Be ready to give things time to naturally unfold and for the friendship to blossom. It's not a marathon—and when it comes to friendship, it's always quality over quantity.

Friendships are one of the most enriching parts of our lives, and as we get older, making new ones can seem like a challenge. But if you're seeking new, meaningful connections in your life, it starts with a commitment both to meeting new people and a commitment to yourself.

Once you decide to make new friends, put yourself out there and get involved in an activity that really lights you up. You're bound to meet someone new. Tell that cool girl in your yoga class you like her leggings, or introduce yourself to your neighbor down the street that you've always thought seemed nice. Every interaction is a chance for a new connection when you're open and looking.