How To Create A Romantic Bedroom Environment: A Tantric Sex Expert's Guide

Clear out the clutter in your bedroom—even the dust bunnies under your bed. "I was so turned on the minute I stepped into his dirty, messy room," said no one ever. A lazy environment promotes lazy sex. A clean space is a sacred space, worthy of two lovers bonding physically. Cleanliness is a turn-on. You can also think about clearing out what's under the bed as symbolic of clearing out anything that could hold you back from expressing your shining, fullest self. Add candles to create soft light and serenity.

Put some chocolate on your nightstand. This is a simple detail that will help a lot when you're getting in the mood for sex. When you begin the process of getting intimate, wave the piece of chocolate under your noses, absorbing the seductive aroma. As you each smell it, take 4­5 long, deep breaths, and observe your senses—you may begin to salivate. In any tantric exercise, breathing deeply is the secret to unlocking mindfulness, becoming more present, and really making that mind, body, and spirit connection.

Next, trace the chocolate square with the tip of your tongue, licking it ever-so-gently. Appreciate the creamy, silky, smooth, sensual texture of the chocolate on your soft, wet lips. Do this for about 3­5 breaths to truly savor the sensation.

Music can trigger different moods and really heighten emotions. So you definitely don't want Comedy Central on in the background when you're making your moves. You also don't want to be interrupted by a call or Facebook notification. Turn off the TV, your cellphone, and any and all electronic devices that aren't going to contribute soothing sounds.

Eliminating distractions helps you focus on each other and more accurately read each other's bodies. To do that, play rhythmic sounds like isochronic tones. They awaken the kundalini—the sexual energy and heat inside of you—just like an orgasm that builds before full release.

The sounds you make are equally arousing. When you're using that piece of chocolate as a sensual tool, don't be silent. Make as many "mmm, mmm" sounds as you would if you were eating a decadent cake. Don't hold back. The vibrations you create with that sound will engage you both further and make you more present.

Place a bottle of your favorite massage oil next to the bed, encouraging massage and touch in your space.

Your environment isn't only physical; it's also mental. To take your sex life to the next level, you must bring that intention to your sexual experiences and into your spaces as well.

Form your intention with an affirmation called sankalpa. Sankalpa is a Sanskrit word meaning "the seed of your intention." If you're single and have been attracting all the wrong people, you might set an intention to find a committed partner. Your affirmation could be, "I'm in a committed relationship with a person who loves me for who I am." If you're in a long-term relationship and have hit some dry spells, you might be seeking more passion. Your affirmation could be, "I have sex with my partner every day."

It doesn't matter what your intention is, as long as it's personal and meaningful to you. You have to be clear on what you want to start to attract it. To bring it into the physical, write your affirmation on a piece of paper and put it in a special place—somewhere visible—wherever that may be for you. Your intention is a promise you make to yourself, your affirmation is inviting it in, and putting it somewhere significant acts as your daily reminder.

Anticipation: We tend to overlook it, don't we? When we're looking forward to something, we want to rush to the main event, forgetting how much fun there is in waiting. It's like watching the trailers for movies before the film starts. We become so focused on the reward of seeing the story that everything beforehand can feel like a waste of time. But, in reality, anticipation is the secret to creating an intimate environment and unlocking your sensuality.

Think of your routine to get ready for a date. You don't just shower and throw on the first dress or pair of jeans you see. You turn getting ready into a ritual by putting time into picking out your outfit, fixing your hair, and putting on your makeup. These steps aren't solely to impress the person you were meeting. The ritual helps you feel confident. It helps you set aside insecurities and reveal your inner light. That preparatory ritual adds to the anticipation of the main experience. You set important time aside for yourself to feel good and get into your zone—you created a sacred space for yourself.