3 Red Flags In A Doctor To Look For, From A Medical Decision-Making Expert

A healthy relationship is built on trust and respect. It's the golden rule for any type of relationship—romantic partners, friendships, family members, etc. But let's not forget: You also have a relationship with your doctor, and according to researcher and medical decision-making expert Talya Miron-Shatz, Ph.D., it requires just as much work to nurture the partnership.

Says Miron-Shatz, the doctor-patient relationship should be just that—a relationship with mutual respect. So if a doctor doesn't look you in the eye and say hello before jumping right into business? That's a glaring red flag. 

See, when a doctor takes the time to look at you and ask you how you're doing, it shows that they are really listening to you and viewing you as a person—rather than the next patient on their rotation. "There's someone who cares about you, who is there for you," Miron-Shatz adds. 

"[You want] someone who looks you in the eye and says, 'Hi, what can I do for you today?'" she continues. "It takes very little time. It could take five seconds, and it makes a huge difference." The timing is an important point: Many doctors, generally, are strapped for time. "Your first inclination might be to say, 'I care about patients, but I don't have the time,'" Miron-Shatz says regarding health care professionals. "Well, you do have the time. If it's five seconds, you do have the time." 

It's a scenario that often occurs with women in a health care setting: You complain about a slew of symptoms, and the doctor tells you the issue has psychological roots or maybe you're just stressed. "If you're a woman and you're complaining about something, you're probably hysterical, maybe it's psychological, maybe it's in your mind. We encounter a lot of this implicit bias," says Miron-Shatz. 

According to Miron-Shatz, people are often scared to ask their doctor about second opinions or alternatives in fear of potentially disrespecting their expertise. However, asking about alternative options and/or treatments does not mean that you don't trust your doctor. "It just means you're being educated, informed, and empowered," says Miron-Shatz. 

It all goes back to the doctor-patient relationship: "When someone says something that doesn't resonate with you, are you in a place where you can say, 'You know, Doctor, I hear you, but I'm not sure because it's not taking into account the fact that I also have headaches, or that this happens more on days when I eat corn, or whatever things might be happening,'" she adds.