Are You Going Through A Quarter-Life Crisis? What Experts Want You To Know

It's not uncommon for young adults to experience a quarter-life crisis, similar to the midlife crises we see in middle-aged people down the line. Here, we're unpacking what a quarter-life crisis looks like, what can trigger it, and how to get through it, according to experts.

How long a quarter-life crisis lasts will vary based on the individual and what triggers the crisis, but according to licensed therapist Tiana Leeds, M.A., LMFT, this time in one's life can last for up to a few years. "It can take a lot of time between when you first realize something's amiss in your life [and] figuring out how to live an adult life. There can be this sense of, 'This isn't it, but I have no idea what it is.'"

Unlike a midlife crisis, which tends to be more centered on "running out of time," a quarter-life crisis implies an urgency to figure out how to even get to that midlife point in a way that works for you.

According to Blaylock-Solar, impulsivity can sometimes be seen in someone going through a quarter-life crisis, though not always. If someone has a realization they actually hate the job they'd been dreaming about, for example, they may impulsively quit without thinking it through first and decide to backpack through Europe for a month. (Extreme, but you get the gist.)

One telltale sign of a quarter-life crisis, according to both Leeds and Blaylock-Solar, is an acute sense that something's gotta give. "It's this need for change but not knowing what that change needs to look like in order to be fulfilled," Blaylock-Solar explains, adding that the need for change will feel urgent.

Depending on what triggered your quarter-life crisis, sometimes relationships can be affected. If you've found yourself on a new spiritual path, for example, you may feel inclined to break up with your S.O. or forge a whole new group of friends. Blaylock-Solar notes that this is common but should be approached carefully. "You don't want to dismantle friendships that are actually healthy just for the sake of needing a change," she says.

In the throes of a quarter-life crisis, the pressure to make a decision can ironically make it even harder to do so, Leeds and Needle both note. "A person may be exploring a lot of different options for what they might do moving forward—whether that's what city to move to or what job to have—and experience an overanalysis of pros and cons of these various decisions to the point where the person has a really hard time moving forward," Leeds tells mbg.

Leeds, Needle, and Blaylock-Solar all note that going through a quarter-life crisis can feel really isolating, especially if part of what triggered it was comparing yourself to others. There can be a sense that you're the only one struggling and that everyone else already has their life figured out, Needle notes.

Going back to the aforementioned point about difficulty making decisions, feeling directionless is also common in a quarter-life crisis. Leeds explains that this period in one's life is full of confusion, uncertainty, and a sense of "stuckness." And according to Needle, "Feelings of emptiness, like something is missing, a lack of motivation, and lack of direction in life in general," are all symptomatic of a quarter-life crisis.

As you've probably gathered, quarter-life crises aren't easy. As such, they are often accompanied by feelings of depression and anxiety, Leeds tells mbg—and that goes along with feeling lonely and isolated. "It can look like burnout at work, even though the person may not have actually been working for all that many months or years. It can look like lack of motivation to do one's work or not fulfilling one's job duties, the way that one used to," she adds.

And lastly, another big component of a quarter-life crisis is insecurity, Leeds notes. After all, this is all about a young adult trying to figure out their place in the world and who they want to be. It can feel daunting, shameful, and a host of other negative emotions, again, especially if part of the crisis stems from comparison to others. This might look like a lack of confidence or even impostor syndrome.

A quarter-life crisis can begin gradually, though it can also be spurred somewhat instantaneously. Either way, Leeds says, in the first stage, you start to become aware that you're feeling stuck, directionless, unsure of yourself, etc. "You're feeling completely trapped, whether that's in a relationship or a job or just experiencing general bad energy," Blaylock-Solar adds.

That said, throughout this phase, there will be glimmers of hope, according to Blaylock-Solar. You'll have good days where you realize you will get through this, and you start to imagine what it is you want and what your life could look like. This phase will typically have some overlap with the third phase.

As you push through a quarter-life crisis, eventually things will start to lighten up as you figure out what changes need to be made—and you start making them. Blaylock-Solar notes you're finally able to make those changes toward the life you want, with Leeds adding you'll start to see your efforts pay off. In this phase, "There's a bit more alignment that you're experiencing in your life," she says.

And finally, the quarter-life crisis comes to a close with a resolution, which builds steadily following the third phase. "Eventually the person gathers their own internal resources and finds a way to move forward," Leeds explains. Blaylock-Solar adds in the resolution phase, you're more confident in how you use your energy, you're able to take care of yourself, and your life generally feels more fulfilling.

And this advice goes both ways if you know someone who is struggling with a quarter-life crisis and you want to help them. Be there for them, be patient, and be supportive, Leeds says, but try not to push them and keep your opinions relatively quiet.

Leeds adds you can ask yourself questions like, "Who am I, and what do I want?" and "How can I create a plan to get that for myself?"

"Try to zoom out on your life to remember that you don't have to figure it all out as a 25-year-old, a 32-year-old, or a 35-year-old person," Leeds says. "You don't have to actually know what the entire trajectory of your life is going to be."

And to that end, she adds, feel free to throw any "rules" out the window, and namely, limiting beliefs. "Let go of any of the beliefs you've picked up along the way from other people—from your family to expectations from society—and really try to tune in to your own inner knowing about who you are and what you want," she suggests.

If you're going through a quarter-life crisis, remember that you are not alone. Support is always available, and you will get through this. It may take time, patience, and effort, but the lessons you'll learn throughout a quarter-life crisis will be the catalyst for your emboldened sense of self, as you step into the next, fresh phase of your adult life.