The Psychology Of Happiness: 3 Tips To Find (& Maintain) Lifelong Joy

In a split second, everything can change. Your tiny, everyday decisions (even ones as simple as your coffee order or the route you take to work) can have a ripple effect that expands over time. And the average adult makes around 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each day—that's a lot of moments that can potentially alter the course of your life! 

How do you navigate a world driven by such unpredictable forces? Bestselling author Morgan Housel—who recently wrote Same As Ever: A Guide to What Never Changes—has spent some time contemplating this very question. 

Allow Housel to declare: "What really matters for your happiness is not your circumstances; it's the gap between your circumstances and your expectations." Meaning, your mindset may have more power over your abundance than the actual items you own. 

Social media is a perfect representation of this concept. "When you open up Instagram, what most people see is a curated highlight reel of the prettiest, wealthiest, seemingly happiest people in the world," Housel explains. "If you scroll through that every day and you anchor your expectations to that, even if your life is objectively pretty good, it's easy to fall into this spiral of despair. Even if you're doing well, if your expectations are rising by even more, it's never going to feel great." 

Housel is a big fan of gratitude journals. Gratitude, after all, actively counteracts our negativity bias1 and promotes positive thinking. 

And it doesn't have to be too complicated: "At the end of every day, just [write], I'm so thankful for this and that, and this and that," he shares. "When you do that, without even knowing it you're managing your expectations and being grateful for what you already have rather than just dreaming about what you could have in the future." 

Pockets of joy exist everywhere—even in seemingly mundane moments. To recognize the happiness in your everyday life, Housel recommends asking yourself this question: What are you going to do today that 20 years from now you're going to have nostalgia for? 

Chances are, those moments aren't big and sparkly but actually quite ordinary. For example, let's say you're waiting in line at a rental car company. Pretty mundane, right? 

Now, "Imagine you're 90 years old, and you're on your deathbed," Housel explains. "Somebody gives you a time machine and says, 'You can go back and experience a moment in your previous life—the moment you get to experience is standing in the rental car line. If you had that opportunity, you would be so grateful for your ability to stand, to see the sunshine, and to talk to other people."