Struggle With Self-Love? Why You Might Want To Look At Yourself In The Mirror

Mirror work is a practice designed to cultivate self-compassion, and it only requires a bit of your time, a mirror, and some positive affirmations. Here's how to do it, plus tips for getting started.

The practice was created by transformational teacher and self-love expert Louise Hay, who authored Heal Your Body, as well as Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life. As Hay writes in Mirror Work, she believed "doing mirror work is one of the most loving gifts you can give yourself."

And if you're curious about what the research says, one 2017 study on mirror work1 found it to be an effective addition to self-compassion practices, with the study authors noting, "The mirror enhances the efficacy of this self-compassion manipulation in activating the soothing affect system connected with parasympathetic nervous system activity."

As D'Simone notes, "I felt this sense of deeper connection to myself by being in front of a mirror and looking at myself, my face, looking at my body, and just embracing, loving, and uncovering a deeper sense of kindness with myself."

Being in front of the mirror can be a challenge, especially if you deal with low self-esteem. But as you learn to state positive affirmations in front of the mirror, chances are you'll slowly but surely begin to believe them.

As you continue to do mirror work, the confrontation that happens in front of the mirror can eventually help you break through negative self-talk.

As D'Simone tells mbg, "Now I actually enjoy looking at myself. It's like I'm just meeting that little girl in the mirror all over again by way of being with my body."

And last but not least, mirror work can help you increase confidence and self-assuredness. Rather than looking outside yourself for emotional support, praise, love, and even compliments, you can give all of that to yourself, D'Simone notes.

There's really no right or wrong way to practice mirror work, but here's the simple three-week plan D'Simone found so powerful:

Here are some other positive affirmations if you need some inspo:

"Set a timer for one minute and start there—and then a little more," she says, adding, "And remember, too, that our innate worth is much more than what we see in the actual reflection, and that's why we stay there looking into our own eyes, to get to the part of us that is innately worthy and loving and full of potential."

D'Simone says mirror work has helped her be able to look at herself and find beauty, contentment, and appreciation. "I kept staying [in front of the mirror] until I could really meet the part of me that was OK with the temporary, transient nature of my body and how things are always changing," she explains.

"Make a whole ritual around it; you know, light some incense, maybe put some gentle meditation or mantra music on in the background," D'Simone says, adding, "Set yourself up with a mirror and say, 'OK, I'm ready to meet more parts of me. I'm ready to really be more loving and more appreciative and more tender to more parts of me by way of looking at myself instead of rejecting any part of me."

And lastly, while it's certainly nice to ritualize mirror work on some days, you can also be more casual about it when you're short on time—or see yourself in the mirror at a random time. Simply offering a quick, "You're doing great," or, "I love you," to yourself when you see yourself in the mirror as you get ready in the morning can go a long way, D'Simone says.

Self-love doesn't always come easy, but with the right practices and a few solid affirmations, you can slowly begin to chip away at the insecurities and conditioning that are holding you back. Odds are, you see yourself in the mirror every day, so the next time you do, say something kind to yourself.