11 Signs Of A Midlife Crisis, According To Therapists

Reaching middle age can certainly bring up a host of emotions, memories, and even new goals—but is there any validity to the stereotyped "midlife crisis" trope? To find out, we asked the experts, plus got their take on how to handle it if you think you're going through one.

Those steps, adds psychotherapist Annette Nuñez, Ph.D., LMFT, are often drastic life changes, like starting a whole new career path or trying to retain (or reclaim) some sort of youthful behavior.

"Something about the recognition of all of that leads people to want to grasp at something, to feel more alive, and sometimes make changes in their life," Yusim says.

All that to say, the idea that only men have midlife crises is outdated and inaccurate.

One of the main characteristics of a midlife crisis is the recognition that you're getting older, often with some negative feelings attached to it. As Yusim explains, this can be brought on by things like menopause or changes in appearance, or emotionally monumental life transitions like kids moving out of the house.

And as Yusim adds, "Even impulsive changes are a product of long-standing frustrations or difficulties that people have been quite conflicted about—and maybe at some point have finally decided to act on."

There's a reason it's called a "crisis." Midlife crises aren't all fun and games; they're usually accompanied by heavy feelings such as regret, sadness, frustration, irritability, anger, and so on, according to Yusim.

Nuñez says midlife crises have a lot to do with reevaluating your life. "You're hitting a midpoint in life, and you're reevaluating what you've done in life, including any regrets, and questioning what you've done so far," she says.

Along with reflecting on the past, there's a lot of concern for the future—and what you're going to make of it—when going through a midlife crisis. This kind of contemplation leads to questions about purpose and meaning, Nuñez explains. It's about "finding out who you are as a person and trying to find the meaning of life," she says.

Realizing that your life is "half over" can make anyone want to experience new things, Nuñez and Yusim both note. Whether it's traveling, starting a whole new career, or sky diving, someone going through a midlife crisis may go to extreme lengths to thrill-seek or simply do something they've never done before.

Someone going through a midlife crisis may become increasingly preoccupied with their appearance and/or status, according to Nuñez and Yusim. Perhaps they get cosmetic surgery, dye their hair, or start dressing more "hip." Maybe they start dating younger people, or going out and partying more, all in an attempt to hold on that youthfulness.

Or in other extreme instances, one partner in a relationship may realize they've outgrown the other, leading to a divorce. "I see a lot of couples where one partner is going through a midlife crisis and the other isn't, and you'll see a lot that this leads to breakups or divorces during this midlife crisis age," she adds.

According to Yusim, a midlife crisis can be split into three main stages, with the first being the initial recognition. This is the moment of realization that's impossible to ignore, that you've reached middle age and are feeling some sort of discontent, she explains, adding, "And then people either recognize the discontent, or they push it away."

In this stage, Yusim says, people can opt for internal and/or external changes. "Are you going to do something about it in your inner world, like try to change your attitude and how you're feeling? Or something in your outer world like Botox, or leaving your marriage or your job?" she explains.

Eventually, the crisis will end, and a resolution will be achieved, Yusim explains. This can take different amounts of time for everyone, with no set timeline. Generally speaking, however, when a person feels content with where they're at and have ceased a lot of those common midlife crisis behaviors, a resolution has been reached.

Be patient with yourself and remember this period won't last forever.

Nuñez adds you can watch out for them as well, stepping in if you see them partaking in self-destructive behavior like going into debt over exorbitant purchases. "Just bringing it to the person's attention and bringing them down to earth, as opposed to letting them flounder," she explains.

The truth is, it's natural—and not uncommon—to go through a midlife crisis at some point in your life. So if you or someone you know is experiencing a midlife crisis, know it won't last forever, there are resources available to help you get through it, and aging can be a beautiful thing when you let it.