5 Lessons Long-Distance Relationships Teach You (That Every Couple Needs)

Here are six of the most crucial ones:

Communication is foundational to a strong relationship. And when you can't turn to any physical means of connecting, then it absolutely takes on a whole new priority. I learned quickly that the tone of my voice could be condescending and aggressive even when it was not my intention. My tone would easily turn a conversation into a negative one, and the only person to blame was myself. Our tone, volume, and pace of speech communicate what we feel far more than our actual words, so it's very important that you are mindful of it.

I would explode with a plethora of emotions over the telephone whenever I was feeling frustrated or we would be having an intense conversation, and my fiancé held me to every word that came out of my mouth, even if I didn't mean it. We have to realize that words can hurt, and the person receiving what we are saying has every right to perceive it the way they want. We can't just say things in the heat of the moment and then one hour later apologize and retract our statements. We shouldn't expect others to tolerate the brunt of our emotions. So I've learned, even though it has taken many years, to take a deep breath before you explode and think about what you want to say. Not everything has to be solved immediately, and sometimes some space to breathe and think will help you come to the discussion with a clearer head, respectful tone, and ready to problem-solve together.

Before meeting my fiancé, I was incredibly possessive and jealous, so when he started getting involved in ballroom dance, it was incredibly tough for me to process. I was upset and angry, but really I was scared, and that fear was keeping me up crying and feeling down all the time. I learned quickly that if I wanted to have any peace in my life I needed to examine my belief systems around having a partner who had his own interests. I had to realize that my jealousy was not serving me in any way. That pattern was hurting me, and if I didn't grow through it, then it would make me lose the relationship. The experience taught me to always be willing to self-evaluate and grow through my weaknesses. 

A lot of times we hold on to things from the past and bring it into our present moment. We let things bottle up, and the moment we feel frustrated, we lay out all the things that have been bothering us that the other person has been doing or not doing. I learned this method is not very effective and only leads to increased frustration on both sides. I learned it's easier to address things that are bothering you as soon as possible instead of adding them to a long list to bring up later.

When you do not see your significant other often, you learn to cherish the time you do have together even more. Not only does it teach you to be more present but to appreciate the small things you get to do together, like watch a movie in bed, go for a walk, or cook dinner together. Being in a long-distance relationship has taught me that communicating openly, honestly, and with respect—while leaving ego at the door—is pivotal in creating a strong lifelong relationship.