8 Things Working With The Dying Has Taught Me About Living A Meaningful Life

This role has taught me so much about what it takes to have a peaceful death—and in turn, a meaningful life. These top lessons form a blueprint for living in a way you won't regret:

So, how do you find what your purpose is now? Engaging in a values exercise can be helpful. The objective is to narrow down the list to three to five things that you value most and ask yourself how you can lead your life right now with those in mind.

The ultimate freedom is loving people without the worry of what they will do with that love. I've found that the more opportunities people have to love and be loved by others, the more at peace they are with their lives in the end. So, do your best to let go of your anger toward those who have "wronged" you, and be as kind and empathetic as you can be.

I have learned that bad things happen to the very best people, and it truly is unfair. A way to make peace with that is to be in the moment at every moment possible, with your eyes wide open. Be appreciative of what you have right in front of you right now. Practicing meditation and gratitude can be very helpful for cultivating this present moment awareness.

One small way to do this often is by saying lovingkindness phrases silently to those you pass by. This practice was introduced to me by Sharon Salzberg, a central figure in the field of meditation. Lovingkindness phrases include "May you find peace and happiness," "May you feel lovingkindness," and "May you be free from suffering."

The happiest people I've seen at the end of life still have calendars filled with travel plans, catchups with friends, and leisure activities. Having a plan is just as important at the beginning of existence as it is at the end. (If you're looking for a way to change your habits, check out my guided journal, 12 Months to Happier Habits.)

Letting go of ego can mean a few different things, but to me, it entails letting go of attachment to your body or the identities you wear on a daily basis. At any time, an identity or a portion of your body may stop working for you. I recommend finding a variety of activities that do not require physicality so that as you age, you won't be so attached to the Self. Learn to be fluid with your ego.

Research demonstrates that those who have a connection to spirituality are less frightened by death and feel life has more meaning. Spirituality does not have to look a particular way. If you have an aversion to organized religion for whatever reason, you may find your connection through meditation or visualization. I've also found that using psychedelics or MDMA (always in a therapeutic setting) can be helpful for connecting to the universe at large.

The most relaxed people I see are not afraid of death. They often see death as just another part of life or even the next big adventure. Saying to yourself daily, "I am going to die someday" will allow you to approach death with less fear and keep you focused on what makes you feel most alive at all times.

It is never too early (or too late) to change your path to find more purpose. But just remember: The fastest way to find meaning and joy is to be open to the present moment—so relax; you're doing great.