Me vs. My Future Self: How An Inability To Relate To Our Future Selves Hinders Progress

Studies have shown, when we view our future selves as different from our present selves1, we are less likely to do the things that are good for us, like exercise, save money, or eat vitamins. We are also more likely to engage in immediate gratification. Here's why that may be happening, and what to do about it.

Today, I understand my future blindness to be rooted in ADHD. The brains of people with ADHD are wired to grasp time2 differently and are naturally not as good at future-planning. Before you imagine this to be a justification for why I can be irresponsible, let me assure you, it's not. This is simply a way I began to understand my natural propensity and finally stop blaming myself. Learning this helped me turn things around, so that indifferent attitude is a thing of the past.

Another reason for not relating to our future selves could be the company we keep. Entrepreneur and personal-development educator Jim Rohn famously said, "We are the sum average of the top five people we spend the most time with." In other words, if we hang out with people who don't care about their futures, it can become difficult to grasp why you should care about yours. Even if you try to change things, the company you keep can sometimes dissuade or shame you from growing.

Other clients of mine who experience future blindness tell me it's because their lives are always cushy. They know they don't lack resources, and therefore, they can solve most problems with money—including future health problems. 

It's a common misconception that lack of maturity or "adulting" skills leads people to separate their future selves, but I've found another reason to be more true: perfectionism. There are too many goals, dreams, and accomplishments we aspire to. It can become too overwhelming, so instead, we file it away.

When motivation begins to wane, think back to that breaking point. This is your purpose, or, as I call it, your "never again" flag. Whenever you inevitably resist future-self actions, ask yourself: Does this lead me closer to the self I want to become?

This is pretty self-explanatory. Being around people who value their future selves will likely inspire you to do the same. If you know someone who is disciplined, ask them about the moments they resisted their future-self habits and how they continue to stick to them now. Then, ask for advice on how to allocate your time, money, and energy to meet your future goals.

Starting small will make it less likely for you to become overwhelmed and give up. Start with one or two small habits, and as those become autopilot, then add another. It's important to make sure you aren't just piling up goals or ripping off someone's routine—ask yourself or consult an expert to curate what's best for you.

This five-step formula will turn actions into habits easily so that you can accomplish and stick to your goals:

Jeff Haden, speaker and author of The Motivation Myth, writes, "'I can't' is a decision based on external causes or reasons, whereas 'I don't' has conviction; it sounds like a part of who we are." The language we use matters, and that one-word difference can alter your mindset, giving you more power over a situation.