Figuring Out How To Use Your Vibrator? Here's What You Need To Know, From Experts

Depending on what kind of vibrator you're using, the technique—and the benefits—will be a little different, according to licensed psychologist and AASECT-certifed sex therapist Megan Fleming, Ph.D.

Some vibrators, like bullets and wands, are primarily for clitoral stimulation. In this case, you'll hold it against the clit and make any motions that feel good to you, which could include running it along the length of the clitoral hood, tapping it against the glans (head) of the clitoris, making circular motions around it, or simply holding it in place pressed against the clitoris or the vulva area.

In the case of a toy like a dildo or a G-spot vibrator, you'll insert the vibrator into your vaginal opening and thrust it in and out at the desired speed and pressure. You can angle it directly toward the back of your vagina to maximize the feelings of fullness, or you can angle it to press against the upper wall of the vagina, toward your stomach, which is the area often referred to as the G-spot.

If you're trying a vibrator for the first time, Fleming suggests lying on your back with your legs open and starting by stimulating yourself with your hand first, to get an idea of what—and where—feels good. It can also be helpful to look at yourself in a mirror and identify things like the clitoris and the vaginal opening if you've never done so before, so you know where to focus your vibrator's touch.

Fleming also suggests taking the time to figure out whether you like direct or indirect clitoral stimulation (i.e., directly touching the clitoris itself or just touching around it), how much pressure you like (some like soft, fluttering touches, while others want more intense stimulation), and other specifics about the type of touch that feels good for you. Every person's body is different, so experiment and explore. 

Before you do anything, Fleming says you'll want to read the instructions for your new toy when you open it up. They often come with special instructions and tips for how to use it, as well as the cleaning instructions you'll need to follow.

Whether you're masturbating or having sex with a partner, setting the mood before sex is so important, particularly for women, Fleming says. "Arousal is both mental and physical, so it's important for women to realize we can turn ourselves on—and turn ourselves off."

Sex educator Marla Renee Stewart, M.A., suggests actually scheduling time for playing with your vibrator. That way, you're creating quality time and ensuring you don't have anything else to worry about at that time.

Ease into the experience. Particularly if using a new vibrator but also just as a general rule of thumb, take your time. After all, what's the rush? "Taking your time with the toys is going to be key," Stewart says.

Particularly for people with vaginas, it can take some time to really get aroused. Fleming notes that when you're trying anything new sexually, including using a new toy, "You want to start when you're already aroused—you don't want to start from a neutral cold start."

Most vibrators offer lots of different speeds and settings for you to explore. "As you're starting new, I think it's really important to start on a low speed," Fleming says, "because vibrators today are really powerful. Even on a low setting, it can be too intense for some women—so definitely start low and slow and work your way up."

When using a vibrator, different positions can offer different sensations. "How you're masturbating can be also a way for you to explore," Stewart says. "You can get a sense of all the different ways your body can receive pleasure."

Fleming and Stewart both recommend adding lube to the mix. Fleming notes that the mind associates wetness with arousal, which is another good reason to incorporate lube, plus it can add to the sensation of the vibrator itself.

You'll want to apply the lube to both the toy and the areas you'll be stimulating, she notes. Otherwise, the toys can inadvertently tug on your skin uncomfortably.

"Trying different lubes is key," Stewart adds. This is where sample packets come in handy, to help you get an idea of what works—and what doesn't. 

While great for solo play, vibrators are also wonderful additions to sex with a partner. If you never have before, you might be nervous to suggest it to your partner, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with incorporating new things into the mix.

Let your partner know you're interested in trying some new things and suggest making a fun date out of going to a sex store or browsing for different things online. Fleming suggests starting small with something like a bullet because they're not visually overwhelming. 

Using toys during partnered sex "also helps you to convey to your lover what you like," Stewart says. The same vibrator will feel different when a partner is using it on you versus when you're using it on yourself, she notes. "It's important to note that when they are touching you, you are giving them the feedback they need in order to get all the pleasure that you can out of the experience."

There are different kinds of vibrators, and each one works a little differently.

Bullet vibes are a great option for anyone starting to dip into the world of sex toys. They're small, discreet, and not intimidating, making them great to experiment with. "If it's your first, I would start with a bullet," Fleming says. They're primarily used for clitoral stimulation, but Stewart adds that you can use a bullet vibrator around other parts of your body, too, to start getting used to the sensation.

Stewart notes that sometimes clitoral size is an indicator of what kind of vibrator you may like: "If you have a smaller clitoris, you may enjoy more bullet-type vibes," she says, and if you have a larger clitoris, "you may want to try a suction/air pulse vibe." Of course, you can definitely try both, too, if you want! Again, because bullets are nice and small, you can incorporate them into everything from solo play to intercourse, experimenting with different settings and speeds.

G-spot vibrators are for folks looking to explore G-spot stimulation, as the name suggests. These vibrators are angled to reach the so-called G-spot, which is an area located on the internal upper vaginal wall that can sometimes feel good when pressed against.

Some G-spot vibrators are made from stainless steel, and then you've got silicone (like our commerce editor's favorite, the Maude Spot), glass, wood—the list goes on. Similarly, some are chargeable while others require batteries, so take that into consideration when thinking about what you're looking for.

Rabbit vibrators (like the editor-approved We-Vibe Nova) offer both G-spot and clitoral stimulation, with both a shaft and little prong-like "bunny ears." These vibrators are great for what's known as a blended orgasm, which comes from both the G-spot and clitoris.

"If you really enjoy penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time, you may want to go with a toy that can do both," Stewart says.

What was once made for massaging quickly turned into a pleasure tool for women everywhere when they discovered the power a wand vibrator can have. This is a great option for exploring your full body, as well as your erogenous zones—and your partner's too—for a relaxing and stimulating experience. Fleming recommends the Mantric Rechargeable Wand Vibrator if you're interested in going this route, and our editors love the Dame Arc.

There's no shortage of couples' sex toys on the market today, which is great for couples looking to broaden their sexual horizons. With everything from toys controlled by Bluetooth to vibrating penis rings, there's plenty of room for you and your partner to explore what you like.

Fleming says penis rings are great if a partner with a penis has problems keeping an erection, as it maintains the blood flow. (Here are the best male sex toys to try, by the way.) "And she gets the bonus of the vibrating," Fleming adds, noting a majority of women don't orgasm from penetration alone, so it's a win-win.

The usage instructions will vary based on the type of couples' toy you use, so make sure to read the instructions that come in the box carefully.

Don't forget to clean your toy up and put it away somewhere it will stay clean, every single time you use it. Most toys come with a pouch or case for storage. Fleming notes that some brands make sex toy cleaners; you'll just want to double-check what kind to get depending on the material of your vibrator. Also, "Make sure it's completely dry before you put it away," she adds.

You can also definitely go the extra mile and give it a quick cleanup beforehand as well, to keep your precious parts germ-free. When in doubt, read the label for your specific toy, as cleaning instructions can widely vary based on material, and be sure to check out our complete guide on how to clean and care for every type of sex toy.