Like all types of sexualities, people's personal definitions of sapiosexuality may vary, but what's certain is people with this identity would rather be turned on by what they think is your most alluring feature: your mind. 

If you're dating a sapiosexual person and want to learn how to turn them on, the first step is to know typical seduction attempts don't work for them. Their idea of foreplay, for example, is to hear about your book collection.

That means you have to charm them with a sharpened intellect as well as your witty banter, comparative thinking, and curiosity.

First and foremost, know that no two sapiosexuals are alike, says sex-positive counselor Ashley D. Sweet, M.A., LPC, LMHC, CCRC: "Being attracted to intelligence or intellect does not mean the sapiosexual in your life will be turned on by everything that falls in the broad realm of 'nerdy.'" 

An easy way to seduce your sapiosexual is to get to know them for who they are.

To do that, Sweet encourages you to peruse their bookshelf, social media feeds, or even their Netflix queue to learn the kinds of content that stimulate them.

"Your first instinct may be to drop a hot game of Catan on the first date when, in fact, they'd be way more into chilling with an episode of Carl Sagan's Cosmos," Sweet tells mbg. 

To achieve the type of intimacy your sapiosexual craves, take the onus off of physical touch and instead explore their sexuality verbally. 

"The brain is the most powerful sex organ," explains certified sex and relationship expert Emily Morse, Ph.D., "and for sapiosexuals, this mind-body connection is crucial when it comes to arousal."

That's why deeply discussing both your sexual desires and where they come from "works well for sapiosexuals because the biggest turn on can be talking and listening about your turn-ons."

Be vivid as you describe how you'd like to play out some fantasies, as well as generous in your expressions of how they make you feel—you might be surprised to see your partner respond to this much more than a lap dance. (Here's our full guide to dirty talk for a little inspo.)

There's a big chance your sapiosexual loves getting lost in the large, expansive aisles of endless knowledge.

Participate in their interest, but spice it up and turn it into a make-out tour.

If your person loves libraries, for example, visit different libraries in your town—or take a day trip to one in another city—and spend the afternoon perusing and analyzing the titles you like. And, of course, sneak some kisses between the bookshelves. 

Another option is to start a book club. You can make an erotica-books-only rule to set an intimate tone, but the activity can feel just as sexy if you wax poetic about science or history books.

Sapiosexual people are eager to learn new things. When you plan the next date night, certified sex therapist Michelle Herzog, LMFT, CST, suggests you feed their curiosity and take them to an art gallery, museum, or any kind of cultural center that provokes enlightening discourse.

"Bringing a sapiosexual to a space that provides the opportunity to learn can be incredibly attractive [to them]," she says. 

In addition to that, exploring these spaces together gives you a chance to understand each other's interests.

Yes, sapiosexuals are attracted to intelligence, but they don't expect you to know everything. And remember, there are multiple ways to be intelligent.

No one can live up to that standard (not even them), so don't feel pressured to awe this person with your ability to keep up with every topic. Instead, tell them when you're clueless. 

After all, true intellectuals can admit when they don't know something, and your partner might be impressed with your humility.

According to Sweet, they certainly won't be turned on by your attempt to know it all: "Performative intelligence will fall flat and likely turn your beloved sapiosexual right off." 

"Play Strip Scrabble, and you'll find you've never worked harder or been more turned on by a triple-word score," Morse attests.

In this steamy version of the game, whoever has fewer points by the end will be naked first, but Morse notes that everyone wins in this version of the game. 

You can try this with a game of your sapiosexual's favorite trivia categories, too: Choose a certain number of clothing items for each player to wear, and then play as you typically would. When someone earns a point, they get to pick one piece of clothing for the other player to remove. Keep playing until the game is over, or when everyone's as naked as they're comfortable being. 

An adult spin works for most intellectual board and card games, so try this with one of your choosing. However, you can also skip them entirely: Stroke your sapiosexual's brain with a fiery game of debate.

Sweet recommends you find interests that intersect, then get creative to create an intimate evening that fires up your minds and bodies. 

Are you both fans of Alan Watts, for instance? Plan a Watts-themed date night. "Write down some of your favorite quotes, and fold them into origami for your sapiosexual lover to open," she suggests, mentioning a reminder to omit any typos or incorrect grammar.

If it's something they're comfortable with, you can role-play, too: Sweet says to role-play as if you're Watts leading a class. As you read his lectures aloud, pretend your lover is a sexy, brilliant student in the back of the class. 

Expressions of intelligence are sure to gain the attraction of a sapiosexual. One way to show off your intellect is to ensure your verbal and communication skills match theirs.

When you chat on social media, text or talk on the phone, or sit across from them at a coffee shop, the sapiosexual you want to woo will admire your ability to adhere to proper spelling and grammar rules in your communication. 

The sapiosexual you desire wants to hear you talk about topics you're knowledgeable in.

"It's often the authentic expression of someone else's intelligence that is so intriguing and arousing to people who identify as sapiosexual," Sweet points out. "If you're really passionate about a topic, show your passion while you discuss it."

Whether it's your robotics hobby, your favorite French literature, or your interest in cosmic exploration, give them more insight into who you are, and speak vigorously about what excites you.

Your expertise will arouse your sapiosexual, especially since you can teach them something new in the process. 

Dinner and a movie is a classic date-night option for all couples—for sapiosexuals, however, the latest rom-com or book-adapted thriller may not live up to their standard of intriguing and examinable cinema. 

Rather than a mainstream movie, watch a documentary from your couch or theirs, or buy tickets to the showing in town when a film festival rolls around.

Sapiosexuals are people who want to explore attraction through philosophical questions, such as, "What's the meaning of life?" "Do you believe in fate?" or "How does one attain happiness?" 

"Intellectual conversation, exploration, and gaining perspective are all qualities that contribute to a sapiosexual's level of attraction and connection," Herzog tells mbg. Talking about what you do for a living and where you grew up are important, but a sapiosexual would rather know more about your insights and philosophies. "Plus, exploring questions like these really allows two people to get to know each other on a more meaningful level."

If the sapiosexual in your life is a storyteller, ask if they want to pen a short story with you.

Like the book club, you can dare to write an erotica story that makes you both sweat, but that's not the only way to excite them during this activity.

Since intelligence dazzles sapiosexuals, it'll be a turn-on when you partake and do well at something that stimulates them.

Sweet explains that people who identify as sapiosexual value the mental stimulation over the physical and material—in that case, bring your "oral skills" to their level and read works of interest to your loved one.

Whether you read Anais Nin’s classic erotica, 17th-century poetry, or a technical manual, Morse says when you read them a book, you'll "stoke the sexual and intellectual requirements for many sapiosexuals." 

As you read, slowly pronounce and deliver your words to entice your partner to hang on to each one.

"This is the sapiosexual equivalent of slowly undressing with your eyes," emphasizes Morse. To send them over the edge, clearly articulate your words.

What is your sapiosexual's favorite podcast? There may be a few, but learn one and listen to several episodes to familiarize yourself with the subject matter.

Once you feel confident in your ability to hold your own in a discussion, plan to spend the next date night play-hosting an episode of your own.

All you need to do is download a free app to record the show, then decide which episode to put your spin on, or which topics to cover for the first time in the same style as the podcast show hosts.

The most important thing about the activity to explore taboo subjects together is to do so respectfully.

It's easy to get riled up in response to views that oppose yours, but no matter whether it's religion or politics, "a sapiosexual will want to explore the depths of these topics," notes Herzog.

She also mentions these taboo subjects are not only incredibly explorative but also imperative to be honest about.