An Optimism Expert On How To Raise Kids With A 'Glass Half Full' Perspective

In today’s world of fast technology, overabundance of choice, and quick fixes, we are seeing more of a decrease in human interactions and empathy—and with the pervasive rise of social media, we are seeing an increase in narcissism along with lower self-esteem, especially in our kids. It’s no wonder that one of the most common things I am asked in my practice is how parents can not only deal with striking a balance for themselves but how they can raise well-adjusted, more optimistic, happier kids.

Before I make any suggestions to parents, I always like to redefine the word "optimism" beyond the term most people just attribute to "always seeing the positive." In my world, an "optimist" has a more functional definition: someone who holds two important beliefs—first, that their problems (which they are aware exist) are temporary, and second, that their personal actions can indeed diminish or alleviate these problems. More often than not, optimists hold a positive attitude and see "setbacks" as temporary and even as opportunities, while pessimists see them as problems that are permanent and, most of the time, of their own doing—which we know can be a hallmark of depression.

The good news? Much of the research today points to the elasticity of our brains and the ability of the human mind to make meaningful changes at a neural level. People who have been prone to pessimism, or are just more pessimistic by practice, can indeed rewire themselves to see more opportunity and positive future outcomes. It is important to note that yes, genetics play a role, but genes account1 for no more than 33 percent of whether one person will be more optimistic than another. That leaves us with almost a whole 70 percent to work with! I always like to reiterate that optimism is like a muscle, and the more we can work this muscle out, the more we can raise our optimism factor and positive attitudes. This could not be truer for our kids, and it is beneficial to start working out this muscle early on.

If you can encourage your child to keep a positivity journal, spending 10 minutes a day three times a week writing down a positive experience they had that day, their brains in turn will be more open to easily receive and notice other positive experiences. This practice will grow and grow, and soon your child will be a natural happiness seeker! For younger children, I love the idea of going on "happiness scavenger hunts"—this promotes the idea of hunting for happiness and also increases their mindfulness practice! It consists of walking around the world with them, asking them to point out whatever objects, people, things make them smile or laugh!

There are plenty of things in our world that without intention frighten or upset us, so being able to practice this is a surefire way to really work on that optimism muscle.