A Psychologist Explains The Real Reason You're Lonely & How To Love Being Alone

With the challenge of social distancing, many people now have to spend time alone, and many are having problems with it. We are social beings, and we are meant to connect with each other both physically and emotionally, so of course it's very challenging for many, especially extroverts, to be alone.

While connection with others is very important, even more important is connection with ourselves—our soul—and with our higher power. It's this inner connection that takes away the inner feeling of loneliness and emptiness. In fact, without this inner connection, even connecting with others can leave you feeling alone and empty, which is one reason people turn to addictions such as food, alcohol, drugs, TV, social media, and so on.

Self-abandonment is the true source of feelings of aloneness and emptiness. It happens when you ignore your feelings, judge yourself, numb with various addictions, or hope someone else will take responsibility for your feelings. When you focus on truly connecting with yourself rather than abandoning yourself, you might discover that you actually enjoy being alone.

Take some deep breaths and shift your focus from your mind and into your body. Get present in your body and scan your body, noticing any tension, tightness, numbness, emptiness, or fluttering anywhere. Breathe into these feelings.

Once you understand what you are doing to self-abandon, visualize your higher power or an older, wiser aspect of yourself, your higher self. Ask, "What would be loving to me right now?" Open and listen for the answer.

The answer might not come immediately, but if you stay open, the answer will come. Spirit is always here guiding us in our highest good, and opening to learning with your higher guidance will eventually let you know that you are never alone—that you are always being guided toward your highest good.

This might mean starting to do something creative: writing, drawing, inventing. It might mean listening to beautiful music. It might mean going out in nature, if you can do so safely. It might mean catching up on work. It might mean playing with a pet or even getting a pet. It might mean reaching out virtually to connect with loved ones or help someone else. It might mean looking to what we're eating to see how we can better support our immune system.