How To Increase Intimacy If You Struggle With Vaginal Dryness

Vaginal dryness can strike at various times throughout our lives, for reasons unrelated to age (i.e., breastfeeding, birth control methods, and more). However, research shows that about 50% of postmenopausal women1 will experience vaginal dryness, making it a nearly inevitable part of growing older. 

Less lubrication makes for not only difficult penetration but also less arousal and engorgement of the delicate vaginal mucosa. This can decrease overall pleasure or cause pain and tearing with sex. 

Because the urinary tract is similar to the vagina, bladder infections or sensations mimicking bladder infections, are commonly associated complaints. Of course as the vaginal milieu changes, so does the normal microbiome and pH. And while you technically can have sex with a UTI, it will likely lead to more irritation. 

If you struggle with vaginal dryness, the first thing to do is see an experienced medical professional. A gynecologist or nurse practitioner that specializes in sexual health is really key here. 

If the dryness is caused by a decrease in estrogen levels during menopause, then a vaginal moisturizer or lubricant can help. Personal moisturizers that encourage pH balance are also helpful for daily nonsexual use. 

Some folks do well with more natural options, like coconut oil, but just because it grew on a tree, doesn't mean it's right for you. Word to the wise: Always spot-test for allergies and sensitivities! 

In my work as an OB/GYN, I've found silicone-based lubes are generally the best for sex—they stay slick a long time, and they neither pull fluid out of nor put fluid into tissue. This is important to decrease friction and maintain pleasure. Cannabis-based lubes and suppositories can also increase pleasure by relaxing the pelvic muscles, as well as increasing blood flow and feel-good factors provided by the endocannabinoid system.  

Energy-based treatments, like radio frequency and carbon dioxide laser treatments, could also be an option. These are designed to help to increase blood flow and collagen production in the vaginal canal and vulva. But please, if you're interested, only get this treatment from an OB/GYN or other women's health specialist—we are trained to treat the whole person, not just the cosmetic side. 

If intimacy with yourself or a partner is affected by vaginal dryness, communication, patience, lots of foreplay, and the right lube are game-changers. If that's not enough, see a professional to figure out the best way to manage the symptoms, and consider pelvic floor physical therapy.