11 Things To Do In January If You Want To Fall In Love This Year

Some say you'll "find love when you least expect it," but I think that's akin to believing you can land the perfect job without doing anything to find your passion, build your experience, and get your resume out there. Instead of sitting back and waiting for love to fall in your lap, why not step into the driver's seat?

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., an author and romantic relationships researcher, says, "It's easy to overemphasize superficial and short-term factors (e.g., the instant sparks and physical attraction)," when looking for love. "To avoid that trap, imagine taking a walk with your 100-year-old self," he suggests. 

"As you prepare for dating in 2024, it is important to re-evaluate your dating intentions and think through what you are looking for in a potential partner," says Shan Boodram, Bumble's sex & relationships expert. Many of us have made this list before, but now it's time to get much more intentional. 

Boodram's advice? Form your list around what you want to feel versus what you want your partner to be. 

Self-reflection is crucial when looking for love. Not only does it help you learn from past experiences, but it's an extremely impactful way to practice self-love and boost your confidence.

Set your ideal partner list aside and make a new list of everything you bring to a relationship. What makes you a good partner? What parts of your life do you already love? Why do you want to share your life with someone else? What type of life could you build together?

Take some time to reflect on lessons you've learned from past relationships and how you might change your approach moving forward.

Research shows dating apps are now the most common way for couples to meet. And if you're not on the apps, now's a better time than any. In fact, the first Sunday of January (aptly dubbed "Dating Sunday") is the busiest day of the year for online dating, and this uptick tends to last through Valentine's Day. Not only are more new profiles created, but users are generally more active and responsive on apps at the start of the year.

Ergo, the new year offers a new opportunity to revamp your dating app profile—and every expert agrees that the key to a magnetic profile is specificity. "Don't hide your quirks," Lewandowski says. "Embrace them. Boldly be your unique and wonderful self. The right partner will love you for it." Dating coach Amy Nobile, agrees, adding that "Your best friend should read this profile and just know it's you." 

Lewandowski suggests shifting your mindset to actually aim for fewer matches and to aim for quality connections over a higher quantity of likes. "Ultimately you'll save time because you focus only on those who are most compatible," he adds.

Take it from me: Once I stopped trying to build a profile I thought people would swipe yes on and instead started showcasing my uniqueness, my matches became much more aligned with what I was looking for. 

If you're continuing to date or go after the same "types" of people but aren't seeing much success, we may have just identified the problem. "Push yourself to be open-minded about someone who may not be your usual physical type but has your nonnegotiables," suggests DeAlto. Many people get attached to a certain image or idea of what they think their ideal partner will look like, talk like, or act like—but if you shift to being more open-minded, you may be surprised by the whole new pool of possibilities.

The first step toward getting what you want is truly stepping into that desire. Don't be afraid to speak out loud that you want a relationship, or to add it to your dating app profile. "If you want a relationship, say it!" Nobile emphasizes. She recommends adding, "Looking for a partner who feels like home" or "Ready for the real thing??" to your profile to showcase that you're there for a serious relationship.

I'm a big proponent of speaking my desires and intentions into the universe—but I personally didn't find a successful relationship until I literally made space for it in my life. Where might you be able to open up a space for someone else?

If you walk down the street with your head in your phone, answering texts or emails or swiping on social media, make a conscious effort to look around instead. Similarly, show the world you're open to meeting someone new by joining new groups, activities, or organizations.

On a more spiritual level, think about your energetic space too. Do you sleep in the middle of the bed? Try sleeping on one side to make a physical space where someone else could be. Have you been procrastinating about cleaning up your home space because it's only you living there? Take some time to make your home a place you'd want to bring someone into.

Falling in love requires vulnerability and openness, but it also takes some strategy. "Make sure you're "relationship ready" by being well informed (e.g., read more, watch videos, listen to podcasts) and well practiced with key relationship skills (e.g., communication, listening, perspective-taking)," Lewandowski suggests.

"Falling in true love isn't about finding just anyone and forcing it to work," Lewandowski says. Now that you've done the work to set your intentions and determine what you want, you'll need to be a little patient while you look for it. "If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Better to be single than waste time in the wrong relationship with a partner who isn't right for you."

As you reflected on what you love about your life and what you personally bring to the table, chances are you learned that you have a whole lot to be grateful for—but how can you make these lists even longer? Nobile suggests sparking joy for yourself every day and literally "flirting" with life. "Try smiling at strangers for a whole week," she says. "Watch what it does for your happiness level."

Nobile adds that even the simple act of chatting someone up in line at the drugstore can seriously raise your vibration, which she says is "the frequency of love." Per Nobile, "In order to attract love, we have to vibrate love!"

Relationships are key not only to our happiness but to our longevity as well. In fact, social connection has been linked with a 50% lower mortality risk1. With a little bit of intention, self-reflection, and openness, this could be the year you fall in love with someone who truly loves you back.