5 Ways To Know Whether You Should Get Back Together With Your Ex

Humans have a desire to love and to be loved, which is often fulfilled in romantic relationships—and that explains why breakups can be so hard to deal with. Like many people following a breakup, you might go through a process in which you consider getting back together with your ex. Did you make the right decision to leave them? Should you reach back out to try to rekindle what once was?

You wouldn't be alone if you did: According to a survey conducted by the Associated Press, 41% of people have gotten back together with an ex. But whether or not that's the right decision for you is a different story.

The people that support and love you probably have a strong opinion on your ex. Whether you were the one to break up or the one who got left behind, your friends will likely be happy to share their opinions about whether you should get back together.

Whether you admit it or not, your loved ones may be a better judge of character than you are. They notice qualities that your ex may have that are easier for you to ignore, and they can point out ways they have seen you change through the relationship.

It can be hard to hear their potentially negative feedback, but try to avoid getting defensive. Your support network is filled with people who want the best for you at the end of the day, so it's important not to dismiss their concerns.

Most likely you know your ex like the back of your hand. You know what they love and what they hate, and they know the same about you. With that level of understanding each other, it's not surprising you miss them.

Dealing with the loss of your relationship can make you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster. Some days you feel OK, and other days you can't stop crying. On those more turbulent days, you might be willing to do anything to make the emotions stop.

If you are considering giving the relationship another try, be sure that you aren't feeling desperate and settling so you don't have to be alone. You shouldn't be making the decision because someone is better than no one—because that can be a big mistake.

Remember that what you are feeling right now will not last forever, even though you think it might. You are going through a season in your life that you will heal from. If you decide to give your ex another try, make sure that you aren't settling because it's convenient or because it feels easier than trying to move on.

As if making decisions isn't hard enough, trying to decide to jump back in or stay away from your ex can be a difficult one. There is a tug-of-war happening in your body between your head and your heart. Your head is telling you what you should do, which may be to stay away, but your heart is yelling at you to try one more time.

When your heart speaks, it's loud and painful. Your head is whispering what you need to do, but since your heart is louder, it can be easier to give in to it. Since this disagreement is happening within, it can be challenging to make the best decision for you.

This is why it can be helpful to write out a pros and cons list. Writing out your answers will help you stay rational and logical in your decision-making.

If you think that being in love should be enough to sustain a relationship, then you will continue to feel hurt and pain. Being in love with your ex isn't enough to keep the relationship healthy. Feeling love for your ex is easy, but showing the actions of love is the hard part of a relationship.

Beware, too, of letting your physical needs get the best of you. Everyone loves a good physical connection, but if that's one of the only aspects that was working in your relationship or one of the only aspects you miss, it won't be enough to sustain a second go. Mind-blowing sex isn't enough to keep a relationship healthy, so don't neglect your emotional needs in a relationship just because your physical ones are met.

This can be a tricky question if you are feeling hurt and alone. Feeling anything other than sad and lonely would probably be a welcome change, but you need to ask yourself whether there were more good days than bad back when you were still together. Be real with yourself about this: Did having your ex in your life improve you or hurt you? A healthy relationship is made up of two people who are committed to improving themselves and bringing out the best in each other.