9 Ways To Deal With The Holidays When You're Struggling With Fertility

As a psychologist with a focus on fertility challenges and stress, I've spent more than 25 years taking my patients through the loneliness, anger, sadness, and anxiety that this supposedly joyous season brings. Here's what I recommend when it comes to dealing with nine challenging situations:

Instead, reframe this by having a conversation about how the next year will be different. Maybe resolve to get a second opinion, change your lifestyle habits, or join a support group.

You really do have the choice to attend a party or not. Feel free to call and give your last-minute apology if you decide not to go. Seeing pregnant friends or friends with kids can be difficult. if you do go, plan to hang with an older crowd, who won’t be complaining about the cost of diapers.

Practice your poker face, prepare what to say (even if it feels insincere) and have an escape plan ready if you need to leave.

Decide to make your own new holiday traditions together, and pick and choose the ones from your childhoods that would work for you now. You can always add more when your own family increases in size.

To counter relatives' questions, memorize some snappy comeback lines to the queries which bother you the most. This way you'll be prepared.

Before the gathering, think about what would work to help you deal with this. For example, you might decide to skip the present bonanza and show up for Christmas dinner instead.

Instead, attend a service early in the morning or later in the evening, to minimize the chance that there will be lots of children there. Or, visit a church where you don’t know anyone or one that caters less to families.

Shopping for toys for nieces, nephews, and the kids of friends can be painful. Be self-protective here. Remember all the books you loved when you were little? Go online and order away. Or make this a gift card kind of year.

Still, most of the research shows it's how many alcoholic beverages you have per week. In other words, drink wisely, but a glass or two here and there is unlikely to make a difference

You can also completely turn this around and do for others who are less fortunate. Volunteer to feed the homeless on Christmas Day, or visit a pet shelter and cuddle with puppies and kittens. Or, just stay home and watch "I Love Lucy" reruns with your hands wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate. Spiked or not.