7 Ways To Cope When Dealing With Anger & Heartbreak

"When you are in the thick of all the work, you may not realize and/or forget to take care of your body," trauma specialist and sex educator Jimanekia Eborn, M.S., recently told mbg. "Setting alarms for yourself on your phone to drink water and eat can be really helpful. Some folks may laugh at that, but it can honestly be so helpful."

Don't bottle it up. Whether it's anger, sadness, fear, or exhaustion, know that you have every right to feel the way you feel. Carve out time for yourself to sit with and acknowledge the emotions that are coming up for you. It can help to talk with a trusted friend or therapist to air out and process what you're feeling. Journaling about what's coming up for you can also help you move through the feelings and stay grounded.

"It is important that we honor the full spectrum of emotions we rightfully have in response to these inequities," racial justice activist Rachel Ricketts once told me. "Acknowledge and embrace your anger. It is there for good reason, and you have every right to it."

Use your emotions to fuel actions. What tangible things can you do to help demand justice, fight racism, and support black people? When you're contributing to the solutions, you'll find empowerment and satisfaction. Ride those highs, and then keep giving. There's always more work to be done. 

Your breath is a powerful tool for grounding yourself and releasing anxiety. When you pause to breathe, you're deactivating your brain's fear centers and moving back to the calmer, more rational part of your brain. With just a few minutes of intentional breathing, you can bring your heart rate back down and ease your stress levels significantly. It won't make all your emotions go away (and remember, your emotions are justified and helpful tools), but it can help you not feel overwhelmed and immobilized by them.

You don't need to fight every troll or heartless commenter on social media. And while you do need to call out your loved ones who say problematic things, you can also limit your interactions with those people going forward. Protect your peace.

While it's important to stay informed and bear witness to what's happening right now, it's also important to give your heart and mind breaks. If you're finding yourself glued to news and social media feeds for hours on end, recognize that you may be ruminating in a way that's not actually helping you or anyone.

"Intentionally schedule your self-time for yourself," Eborn recommends. "A lot of people live by their calendars. Schedule yourself some time to be alone and check in with yourself. It does not have to be a long amount of time, or it may need to be. I would say schedule at least 30 minutes of time to just check in with yourself. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally—you deserve it and you need it."

This time should be about doing exactly what your body and soul need, whether that's meditating, bingeing Hulu, making art, or simply taking a long, hot bath.