How To Be More Present & Live In The Moment, From Experts

Being present is a concept that stretches across disciplines of philosophy, physics, and psychology. In The Study of Time1, philosopher A.N. Prior equates the present to reality. Meaning, this moment is the only thing that truly exists.

Being present refers to a state of mindful awareness of what's right in front of you, with no dwelling on the past and no worrying about the future. 

"Being present means slowing down, bringing awareness to the moment that's currently happening versus engaging in the unrelated thoughts that may appear," licensed therapist Steph Tuazon, LCSW, tells mbg. "We are constantly processing information that we're seeing, feeling, thinking. It's easy to have our attention split between the three and get lost in thought."

Learning how to be fully present is a big part of many forms of meditation, spiritual, and mindfulness practices.

If there are so many positive qualities about staying present and sharing presence, why is it so hard to be present?

As board-certified physician Rajeev Kurapati, M.D., previously told mbg, our minds are always toggling between anticipating risk and cultivating hope. This is a natural process where we prepare for the future with lessons from the past.

But sometimes this cycle of focusing too much on the past and future can lead to becoming detached from what's in front of you. When these thoughts go unchecked, they can become overwhelming and lead to overthinking.

"Our anxieties and stress about the past and future can get in the way of being in the present moment," board-certified psychiatrist Pia Quimson, D.O., tells mbg. "We worry about the impact of our past mistakes or events on our current situation and about the 'what ifs' of possible events that haven't happened or may never happen."

Our mind's consciousness is only one tool that we have to explore our world. Tapping into the intelligence that our bodies have can be useful for becoming present. According to Quimson, "A helpful strategy is to focus your attention on your five senses."

We have been sold the myth that we can multitask. This concept originates from computers' abilities to multitask or do more than one thing at a time. However, our brains are not wired like computers. We actually cannot multitask well. Some research4 suggests that multitasking is even detrimental to our productivity rates.

Social media content is mostly based in the past because the pictures and videos you're consuming all happened in the past. Sometimes taking a break from social media can help you focus on things that are happening in front of you, in the physical realm.

Quimson shares a popular quote by Randy Armstrong: "Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles. It takes away today's peace."

If you're a busy person, actually scheduling time for yourself to just be in the moment may be a helpful practice until you can habitually tap into the present. With any new skill, it takes time to build a practice. So, building little by little can be helpful.

Sometimes we want to dwell on the good times of the past or rush to the next moment because we are feeling uncomfortable feelings in the present. Allowing ourselves to feel all emotions deeply and acknowledge what's in the moment can strengthen our ability to be in the moment, no matter the circumstances.

Nature is one of the greatest healers for our modern world. It provides an invitation to slow down and be present. Following the waves of the ocean or the sway of trees is similar to following your breath. The pattern of regular movement can help center you in the moment.

Being with our partners in the moment creates memories and meaning in our relationships. 

There are many ways to be more present in a relationship. For example, Tuazon shares, if you and your partner often watch TV together after a day at work, but sometimes you're both watching and sometimes one of you is on your phone, there may be a lack of presence there that can cause feelings of loneliness for one or both partners. 

"It does not have to be a hard rule of no phones while watching a show," she says, "but if you're noticing you're feeling distant or irritated seeing your partner on their phone, [you can] ask, 'Hey, can we put our phones away tonight? I really want to watch this with you.'"

It may also be meaningful to make contact with each other physically while you watch or to make eye contact throughout the show to help you feel connected in the activity, she suggests. 

Real-time conversation is the glue that keeps our relationships together. It's important to stay present in conversations with others because it signals that we are there in the moment with the other person. 

"In a conversation, we can be present by listening and resisting the temptation to interpret, assume, predict, or come up with a reply while the person is still talking," Tuazon explains. "This could mean physically moving bodies to face each other or making eye contact. Listening can also mean asking someone a follow-up question or repeating back what you heard to see if you understand."

One sign that you aren't being present in a conversation, she notes, is when you totally miss what the other person said or can't repeat back what they said later on. But she adds, "This is a very normal human thing to do. If that's the case, take accountability for it and see what the other person may need for repair."

Children are highly sensitive to learning from the world around them. In early years of development, children mimic the people around them to learn behaviors. In later development, they learn the customs in their culture and communities, which informs how they interact with others. Being present with your children helps them to learn how to be present with others. 

"Being present with children is similar to being present with adults," says Tuazon. That means using all the same practices we've mentioned above for how to be more present in your relationships to create attunement with your child.

"Give space for the child to express themselves and engage with curiosity," she adds. "Children may not always be slowing down in the ways we want them to, but they absolutely pick up on if an adult is distracted."

Practicing mindful awareness in the present moment is a skill. Not only are we navigating our neurobiology, but we also have obstacles in the form of social media, difficult emotions, and other distractions that can pull us out of the present.