32 Ways To Be Happy Alone & Enjoy Your Own Company

If you're someone who thrives on the company of others, alone time can sometimes feel impossible to truly enjoy. But being alone is a natural part of the human experience; we'll all be alone at least sometimes, whether by choice or by circumstance.

Moreover, our relationship with ourselves is the only one we're guaranteed to have for the entirety of our lives—and so it's worth nurturing it so we're able to enjoy our own company as much as we do that of our friends and lovers.

All people require some amount of alone time. It's when we are alone that we're able to fully hear our own thoughts and feelings, to process the events and experiences from the day, and to assess our current needs and tend to them. Alone time gives us the space to identify what is our own, separate from what is coming from our environment and from others.

This self-awareness and self-tending are vital to our daily functioning, as being disconnected from our own feelings and needs often comes at the cost of our health and well-being. It's how people can go months being exhausted and stressed at work before realizing they're suffering from burnout or how a person in a toxic relationship will continuously abandon their own needs in pursuit of pleasing a partner who's objectively not good for them. It's why therapists say even the healthiest couples need alone time away from each other.

According to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., some people may be more predisposed to enjoying solitude. "Personality factors, such as a tendency toward extroversion, may surely contribute to a person's ability to feel happy when they're alone," she tells mbg. That is, people high in extroversion (one of the so-called "Big Five personality traits") may be more likely to struggle with alone time than introverts.

That said, being able to enjoy being alone is a skill that all people benefit from. All relationships inevitably come and go, and so when we attach our happiness to other people, we relinquish power over our sense of contentment to something external and temporary.

According to licensed therapist Alyssa Mancao, LCSW, the idea that our happiness depends on something outside of us is known as emotional dependence. "It is when our feelings and self-worth are based on external factors such as how another person feels about us," she writes at mbg.

Being alone simply means you are physically by yourself—but it doesn't necessarily mean you are lonely, which refers to a specific type of distress caused by the feeling that you're lacking the friendships and relationships you crave.

While it's important to be able to enjoy being alone, we still need to have meaningful relationships in our lives—including friends, family members, a larger community, co-workers, and/or romantic partners. "Even true introverts tend to thrive when they've a special someone (or two) to connect with," says Manly.

Humans are social creatures. We're naturally drawn to community and seek interpersonal connection, in part because it's necessary for our health and survival. "Loneliness and isolation can worsen physical pain, depression, and immunity," psychiatrist Nina Vasan, M.D., MBA, previously told mbg. "It increases the risk of diseases1 like infections, heart disease, high blood pressure, and dementia."

Many of us live in a culture that hyper-focuses on romantic relationships as the main and most important way to connect with others, and in that context, being single can feel like a curse wherein you're doomed to be lonely and miserable until you can find yourself a partner.

In reality, there are so many ways to enjoy connection, intimacy, care, and affection with others outside of just romantic relationships. Deep friendship, family relationships, professional and creative partnerships, and engaging with a larger community can all be sources of meaningful connection with others if we open our hearts to it.

There are also many benefits to being single that are less accessible within the context of a relationship. "When you are single, you are empowered to make your own choices and hold yourself accountable for those choices," psychoanalyst and relationship expert Babita Spinelli, L.P., previously told mbg. "You learn to forge your own way, and that elevates inner confidence and resilience."

If you're living alone or in a period of time when you're home alone often, you may find yourself feeling lonely more often or in a particularly pronounced way—perhaps in a way that surprises you. In fact, some research suggests people who live alone may be more likely to deal with mental health issues2, primarily stemming from loneliness.

No matter how independent you are, being alone at home will make most people feel a bit lonely at least occasionally, and it's OK to recognize these feelings. According to holistic therapist Rikki Clark McCoy, LCSW, the key is figuring out how to reframe the way you're thinking about your alone time at home.

"Living alone, especially if it's for the first time or even after a transition, can be a very emotional experience," she previously told mbg. "There may be feelings of sadness or loneliness, but living alone can also be a time of learning to love yourself."

First and foremost, go easy on yourself here. Everyone experiences loneliness from time to time, and that feeling—like all feelings—is completely valid.

"Humans are naturally gregarious creatures, so it's important to remember that you're not 'broken' if you tend to feel a little blue when you're alone," says Manly.

Some people are also more drawn to companionship than others are, she points out, so be compassionate with yourself if you're someone that simply craves the company of others more often than not.

When we're sitting around doing nothing, we tend to feel loneliness more acutely. "Time has a way of slowing down when we don't have plans," Manly adds, "so you're far more likely to feel happy when you don't have long stretches of empty time."

She recommends planning for alone time in advance, whether you know you have a solo weekend coming up, you just went through a breakup, or you're moving to a new place by yourself.

Alone time becomes a lot more appealing when we associate it with getting to do things we genuinely love and want to do. For example, if you've always wanted to read more, integrate a daily reading practice into your windows of alone time. If you're a skin care lover, treat yourself to a long, luxurious, and indulgent evening skin care routine.

When you fill your time with activities that actually bring you pleasure, you transform alone time from a moment of lack that you're needing to suffer through into a moment of opportunity that you're actually excited to seize.

"Strive to see solo time as the perfect chance to enjoy catching up on self-work, meditating, or sorting through stacks of unread magazines," says Manly. "When we reframe solo time in positive ways, the body, mind, and spirit naturally begin to feel more upbeat."

In addition to pleasure pastimes, consider delving into projects you've been wanting to start—such as decorating the house, starting a community initiative, or finally starting that YouTube channel. Projects are great ways to spend your time alone because they give you a goal to work toward and a way to fill your time that feels meaningful.

"I have found, with myself and my clients, that becoming deeply involved in a creative endeavor can go a long way toward ameliorating loneliness," psychology expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D., writes at mbg. "There is something about becoming deeply involved in the creative process that fills the heart and soul with joy—even when we are creating alone."

Remember, being happy alone does not mean forgoing all social connections—to the contrary, feeling close to others is vital to our well-being, and if you're experiencing loneliness in your life in general, it can actually be harder to enjoy your alone time.

"Although we want to be comfortable with our solitude, it is still healthy to connect with your support system," McCoy tells mbg. "Stay connected with people who bring you joy and support you."

"It's common that loneliness peaks in the morning and at night when we don't have much going on," McCoy explains. So, focus on developing a solid morning and evening routine that helps you flow through these parts of your day with more ease.

Remember that loneliness is a feeling that's often an extension of the emotion of sadness. That's why Manly recommends walking as a potential balm for loneliness. Walking comes with a host of mental health benefits (bonus if it's out in nature, but any walk will do!), with mood being one of them.

By the same token, remember that our mood—that is, our emotional and mental health—is inextricably tied to our physical health. How we treat our bodies affects how we feel emotionally, and vice versa.

Manly notes that people who are dealing with loneliness can sometimes resort to unhealthy habits that only exacerbate the problem—for example, eating foods that make you feel sluggish, or missing out on valuable sleep that leads to irritability and lack of energy, or becoming overly sedentary.

Perhaps most importantly, learning how to be happy alone requires you to actually, legitimately love yourself.

That means you actually enjoy your own company, you care about your own personal development and growth, and you genuinely find value in investing time and energy into the things that nurture you—the same way you find value in investing in your connections with others.

If this isn't ringing true for you, start there. Maybe it's about learning how to build confidence in yourself. Maybe it's about releasing people-pleasing behavior. Maybe it's about releasing perfectionist tendencies that lead to self-hatred. Maybe it's about incorporating more positive affirmations into your life.

Or maybe it's simply about recognizing the ways in which your relationship with yourself can yield just as much pleasure, intimacy, affection, and support as your relationship with others. 

People can find deep, authentic happiness in their solitude. While we do need interpersonal connection in our lives in some form, it's very much possible to enjoy and even thrive living life as an independent individual rather than in a romantic partnership or living with others.