How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In Together? Experts Weigh In

Here's how long you should wait before moving in with a partner and what to consider before making the leap, according to licensed therapists.

"There is no one-size-fits-all timeline," she tells mbg. "If you're thinking about moving in together, don't just let it happen—be intentional. I'd encourage people to first consider why they want to move in together and how it would benefit their specific relationship." 

Before moving in with someone, Korshak recommends having a strong foundation in healthy communication and conflict resolution to ensure that your relationship doesn't take a stressful turn. If you haven't yet established trust, respect, and had demonstrated experiences working through conflicts together, you may be moving in too soon. 

If you're moving in together mainly because your partner (or others) say you should, experts recommend taking a step back. "It's natural to have a mix of emotions when it comes to moving in together," Prabhu tells mbg. "If you're feeling pressure, dread, or anxiety, try to understand the source of those feelings before signing on the dotted line." 

If you're signing a lease with your partner purely for practical reasons without considering the emotional impact, experts say it's probably too soon to move. "If your primary reason for moving in together is to save money, please think twice before moving forward," Prabhu explains. "Although this is an attractive option, living together is also a mental, emotional, and physical commitment." 

"In 99% of cases, moving in together should not be considered or used as a 'solution' to problems in the relationship," Korshak tells mbg. For example, if you're arguing a lot or struggling to align your hectic work schedules, living together won't necessarily solve everything overnight. "When approached as a quick fix rather than an intentional and deliberate process, moving in together is very likely to create more problems than it fixes."

If you can't solve disagreements with your partner in a healthy, respectful way that both parties feel good about, Korshak says it's probably too early to live together. Maybe you haven't had any real arguments with your partner yet, or you've had "fights" in the past but they still don't feel genuinely resolved and you're still bitter. When sharing a space, little things become big things—so aim to establish clear conflict-resolution skills before living together.

Trust is foundational for any relationship, romantic or not. If you don't trust your partner, it's probably too early to live under the same roof. Whether it's having an open conversation with them, seeking therapy, or finding another way to heal your trust issues, try to establish genuine trust in your relationship before moving in together.  

If you haven't brought up the future with your partner, it's probably too soon for the move, Korshak says. For example, why do you want to move, and why now? What are you both hoping to get out of it? Is the move just for fun or a step toward marriage? If you and your partner aren't comfortable exploring those questions together, it may be too early to make the leap. 

"Before moving in together, you should consider whether you both have the same goals for moving in," says Kat Chan, LMFT, a psychotherapist and meditation teacher. "It can become a messy situation if, say, you're wanting to move in because you're ready to take the relationship and commitment to the next level, and they want to move in because of financial reasons like saving money. Definitely get on the same page about where your relationship is headed before moving in." 

If you've already shared space with your partner—whether you've traveled together or you're always at each other's houses—Chan says it might be a good sign. "It might be the right time if you're already spending a significant amount of time at each other's places, and you both feel comfortable in each other's spaces like your own," she tells mbg. If you've experienced each other's lifestyle habits, sleep schedules, and daily activities and are successfully making it work together, your transition will be much easier. 

The better the communication, the better your living experience. "For couples, communication is an essential skill to create a shared vision and intention," Korshak explains. If you struggle with communication and still want to live together, commit to practicing with your partner. Couples' counseling can also help you sort things out before resentments arise, Korshak says.

"Moving in with a partner is a major life transition, relationship milestone, and commitment, so it's absolutely normal to have doubts," Prabhu tells mbg. "Common thoughts may be: Will we get tired of each other? What happens when we get into a fight? Where will I go? and Will I have time to myself?" If you've chatted about these topics and feel aligned with your partner, you may be ready to commit.

Whether it's devoting time to hobbies, inviting friends over for game night, or carving out time to decompress after a long day, boundaries and personal space are essential when living with someone. "You should consider your respective needs for space and alone time," Chan says. "Try exploring what alone time means for each of you and how much of it you each need to feel comfortable."

If you've chatted with your partner about the tough stuff and you're still genuinely excited about the next stage of your relationship, it's a good sign that you're ready to live together. Sharing a space is an intimate experience that can bring you closer if you're both open to it. The transition may not be easy at first, but it can certainly be fun! 

If you're nervous about living together, here's what to ask yourself (and your partner) beforehand: 

Finally, you may also want to address what happens if you break up. While it may seem like an uncomfortable conversation to have, splitting with someone you live with isn't easy, and it's (sadly) a common occurrence. Thinking ahead about your finances, assets, backup plans, and other details can be a lifesaver if things don't work out. 

At the end of the day, living with your person should be fun—and only you can decide when the time is right. No matter what you ultimately decide, take a deep breath, chat with your partner beforehand, and you'll be on your way toward an exciting future.