How Do You Talk To A Narcissist? A Psychoanalyst Breaks It Down

It's important to be aware of wording so the narcissist doesn't feel slighted, upstaged, or criticized, even constructively, when you engage in conversation. That being said, most of what you say might not be recognized as it would in an actual conversation. Instead, the narcissist expects what they say to be acknowledged, appreciated, praised, and confirmed.

If you have plans to be alone with someone who's a narcissist, he or she will likely invite strangers into the conversation without consulting you. They'll do this to receive attention from others who might appreciate a story you've grown bored of. It gives the narcissist a needed opportunity to demonstrate how knowledgeable they are, which might be keenly noticed and admired by strangers.

If the narcissist shows haughty or arrogant behaviors or attitudes, do not take this demeanor personally. They are characteristically this way with most people, even when not provoked. In fact, to keep the conversation going, ask them to share more about whatever topic they are discussing. This will hold their attention.

When you unintentionally slight a narcissist in his or her mind, he or she will probably leave the room without explanation. They will then maintain passive-aggressive behaviors—like the silent treatment—for long periods of time. Again, if you do not take this behavior personally but instead wait for them to collect themselves, you will eventually be able to continue talking.

Wanting to be in a relationship with a narcissist might seem compelling. They are often charismatic, charming, extensively knowledgeable, and will persistently pursue you for your empathy. If you are indeed an empathic, appreciative partner who is often self-denigrating, you may fit the picture of a codependent, who narcissists are commonly drawn to.

He or she may make you feel enhanced and distinctive by being associated with them. If you give that impression to the narcissist when you are talking, your relationship may remain stable. 

Only when the narcissist senses a change in conversation to your own interests, desires, and ambitions, will the talking abruptly end. Typically that happens when you are beginning to satisfy your own needs, not only those of the narcissist. 

The narcissist feels exceptionally entitled to your dependence. You may fear abandonment if you do not bring the narcissist back to the center of your life. It is easy for a characteristically empathic person to blame themselves when they can't talk endlessly to a narcissist.