How To Get Through An Existential Crisis, According To Mental Health Experts

We've all experienced moments when life and all its mystery feels overwhelming—and sometimes, that overwhelm can turn into a full-blown existential crisis.

An existential crisis, simply put, encompasses overwhelming feelings of dread, anxiety, confusion, and dissatisfaction around the deeper questions of life (i.e., who you are, what happens after we die, the general meaning of life, etc.).

According to 2016 research published by the American Psychological Association1, existential crises are defined as "confusing and high-anxiety times when a person is trying to resolve and find the answer to this question: Who am I?" The research notes the concept was first introduced by renowned psychologist Erik Erikson in the 1970s, who referred to it as an identity crisis—though the idea of the "dark night of the soul" has been around for centuries.

As licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli, L.P., tells mindbodygreen, virtually everyone will have an existential crisis of some kind at one point or another, but it doesn't have to be totally negative. In fact, she says, it can serve as a positive force that encourages you to dig deeper, make changes, and find more meaning in your life.

A number of things can trigger an existential crisis, from a random realization about the nature of reality to more jarring events like a medical diagnosis, war, losing a loved one, or a traumatic experience. Essentially, anything that abruptly shifts your perception or your existence may incite an existential crisis, according to Spinelli.

It's also worth noting that there are a few different types of existential crises, which are more or less common depending on how old you are. As Spinelli explains, there is a "sophomore crisis," which is an existential crisis in someone's teenage years as they come into their identity and start thinking about the future.

A quarter-life crisis, on the other hand, typically happens in early adulthood as a young adult transitions into the working world and adjusts to life on their own. Midlife crises happen in middle age and tend to be more about reflecting on past choices and missed opportunities. Lastly, there are "later-life crises," Spinelli says, which involve questions around mortality, illness, legacy, regret, and purpose.

Regardless of when an existential crisis occurs, though, similar symptoms are to be expected. As psychotherapist Annette Nuñez, Ph.D., LMFT, previously told mindbodygreen, "When people reevaluate their lives, it often brings up mixed emotions of anxiety, stress, regret, and sadness."

Plus, the older we get, the harder it is to ignore our inevitable finitude. "Something about the recognition of that leads people to want to grasp at something, to feel more alive—and sometimes make changes in their life," psychiatrist Anna Yusim, M.D., previously told mindbodygreen.

And speaking of major issues in the world, if you can't stop thinking about them (or other existential things like death or the meaning of life), that's another sign of an existential crisis. These thoughts can become so pervasive that they impact your quality of life—i.e., your motivation, as aforementioned.

Existential crises can be very lonely, Spinelli tells mindbodygreen. In fact, loneliness can actually trigger an existential crisis when it leads someone to start contemplating deeper questions about the relationships in their life. Plus, the crisis itself can make it difficult to connect with others as you're struggling to connect to yourself.

First things first: If you are going through an existential crisis, know that you will get through it—and it can even serve as a catalyst to make positive changes as you move forward with a deeper understanding of life and who you are. So, where should you start?

We may never truly understand the meaning of life, but some would argue the meaning of life is to give your life meaning. And according to Spinelli, you can bring so much meaning to your life in small but mighty ways. "Instead of focusing on large existential questions about the meaning of life and the universe, find answers to smaller questions you can answer," she says, adding to further look at how your life impacts the world around you and how you can make a difference. 

If there's anything that can restore hope in dark times, it's love from a friend, family member, or partner. As previously noted, loneliness can trigger an existential crisis and despair, but the opposite is also true, and having a network to support you in difficult times is essential in any crisis.

"Shifting your perspective" might sound oversimplified, but it can actually be the hardest part of getting out of a deep existential crisis. Learning how to reframe your thoughts is a process that takes time, patience, and a whole lot of mindfulness.

Try your best to remain present in the here and now rather than getting swept up in past regrets or worries about the future. Spinelli recommends mindfulness and meditation to help you feel grounded and adds to remember that you can't change the past. You can, however, find comfort and motivation in the fact that your life is yours to create.

Practicing gratitude regularly is also a simple way to encourage your brain to look for more good in the world. "Keeping track of things you're grateful for (or writing them in a journal) serves as a reminder that there are things—even if they are small—that you can feel grateful for. And those add up to feeling connected to life and its meaning," Spinelli explains.

Having an existential crisis is anything but easy, and yes, there is much to be frustrated, confused, angry, or scared about in this life. While your existential crisis may indeed confront you with deep regrets or fears, what counts is what you make of it and how you use it to propel you in a better direction—and that rings true in all aspects of life.