What Your Dreams About Deceased Loved Ones Could Mean, From Dream Experts

In the case of dreaming about a loved one who's passed on, a study by dream researcher Joshua Black, Ph.D., shows these dreams can help us process the trauma of a loss, serve as a way to maintain connection with the deceased, and/or help regulate emotions.

These are essential components of grieving, and as therapist and dream expert Leslie Ellis, Ph.D., tells mbg, "One of the most interesting things is, when we lose a loved one or pet, the vast majority of the dreams we have about them are comforting."

While a majority of dreams about a loved one who's died are ultimately positive or comforting, there are cases where this loved one may be angry, upset, or disappointed in you. According to Loewenberg, these dreams are most likely projections of your own feelings.

Another potential scenario for dreaming of a loved one who's died involves them trying to harm you in the dream. Loewenberg tells mbg this likely represents a self-sabotaging part of yourself that's exhibiting similar patterns or behaviors as this loved one.

And last but not least, there are some who believe loved ones can visit us from beyond death, including in our dreams. If you've ever dreamed of a loved one who's passed, you may have pondered the possibility yourself.

For what it's worth, both Ellis and Loewenberg believe it can happen and, further, claim to have experienced it themselves. Ellis was visited by her cat, Shadow, and Loewenberg, her grandfather, both dreams occurring shortly after their respective deaths.

Ellis and Loewenberg both also describe the same telltale ways of knowing whether you had a visitation dream, or if it was just a dream like any other, which brings us to our next point.

According to Ellis and Loewenberg, visitation dreams feel distinctly different from your average, everyday dreams. For one thing, Loewenberg says, the person (or pet) probably looks great, healthy, radiant even. Ellis adds when she was visited by Shadow, his coat was shiny and he looked to be in great shape, for example.

Visitation dreams are also typically comforting in nature, as if your loved one was letting you know they're OK, and they're around, supporting you.

As Ellis tells mbg, a good litmus test for a true visitation is when the deceased tells you something you didn't already know and it turns out to be true. "For example, a woman dreamed of her great grandmother, and in the dream was told to ask her mother about the back room in her house," she says, adding, "She did so and her mother burst into tears, telling her daughter this room was filled with dress-up clothes that she and her siblings would play with every Sunday at their grandmother's house, and these were her happiest childhood memories."

In the case of a visitation dream, there's nothing to necessarily do besides take comfort in the fact that you feel your loved one reached out to your through the dreamworld. Loewenberg says you could also write it down in a dream journal and keep it in a safe place to treasure it going forward.

In other cases, she says, "it's definitely a call from your subconscious to try to come to terms with what's going on." Whether it's a feeling of unfinished business or not being able to accept they've passed, it's important to find a way to accept whatever it is.

One great practice for this, she says, is to write them a letter telling them everything you never got the chance to say when they were alive. You can also do your best to look for a lesson if you feel there were things unsaid, and "moving forward in your life, to never let things get to that point again with anyone you care about," she adds.

There are some in the camp who believe dreams are memory consolidation at work and nothing more. Others, however, believe dreams are loaded with messages and interpretations for us to dive into.

As psychologist and dream expert Rubin Naiman, Ph.D., previously explained to mbg. "Dream interpretation is about decoding the dream. It enlightens us and expands our awareness psychologically, [offering an] expansion of consciousness."

The key, he says, is to feel into the emotions the dream evokes in you, identifying more about the emotional experience as opposed to the literal visuals in the dream. "We need to learn the dream language; we don't always have to translate it into waking," Naiman adds.