Here's what you need to know about dating in your 30s, according to licensed counselor Shanta Jackson, M.A., LPC, and relationship coach Kingsley Moyo.

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The quantity of your dates may decrease, but the quality is likely to increase as you use wisdom to your advantage.

Jackson recommends focusing on this first and foremost. She notes, "The worst thing you can do to yourself is date in your 30s and have no clue about who you are. This prolongs the dating phase because you waste time with people who have no clue how to treat you, and you don't know how to verbalize your needs because you don't know yourself."

Moyo adds, "You're not late. There's no rule book that says dating has to start and end at a certain age.

Age isn't always an indicator of experience. Many people hold off on thinking about their dating life while they're focused on their career, social life, or hobbies in their teens and 20s, and that's totally valid. If that's you, accept that you're still learning and release the need to put up a façade in dating. This is important because authenticity is key to connection.

Moyo adds, "Understand and accept that wounds follow you. Any unresolved emotional baggage can be projected onto your next partner and ruin your chances of a successful relationship."

By the time you're in your 30s, you likely have enough data to recognize patterns in your dating life. According to Moyo, those trends mean something. If the trend is positive, work to recreate those circumstances. For instance, if you have the best dating luck when you initiate first contact, take the lead more often! If you notice a negative trend, such as being repeatedly ghosted, consider the cause. Think about what you can learn from it and the elements present in each scenario. Then you can make adjustments as needed to right your dating ship.

Don't fall into game-playing traps. Jackson urges giving up tactics such as waiting three days after a date to call or text. "If you want to reach out, reach out," she says. "If you want to ask someone on a date, just do it. Here's the thing: Rejection won't hurt as much because you've done the work to heal yourself and understand that it happens in life, and you'll be fine." Everyone's a certified grown-up now—time to date like one.

Being upfront about wanting something serious will naturally eliminate dates who just want to have fun. Straightforward dialogue will also help you avoid awkward situations later when you're looking for something casual. If your candor scares someone off, the sooner the better.

In your 30s, financial considerations become much more important than they may have been in your younger years, says Moyo. Financial problems in relationships are also one of the most common causes of divorce. He suggests asking yourself questions about your so-called money personality." For example: Do you see money as power, status, security, or a resource to be enjoyed? It's crucial to date people who relate to money the same way you do if you're hoping to develop a serious relationship.

Moyo also recommends learning your attachment style to understand why you do what you do when dating and in relationships. The better you understand yourself, the easier it will be to help a potential partner understand you. Plus, you can work on removing any barriers keeping you from healthy romantic attachment. Don't be afraid to dig deep into self-awareness.

Sometimes we continue dating someone because we believe they'll be a great partner one day, whether that's when they're less stressed out, or when they finally get a job, or when they learn to be less defensive. Some psychologists refer to this as creating fantasy bonds. "You don't have the magic wand to fix anyone," Moyo states. "Chances are if someone has been that way for the past 30 years, you won't change them. Experience the relationship now, not in the future."

Enhanced communication should be one major difference between dating in your 20s and dating in your 30s. Jackson says effective communication can help eliminate assumptions and ensure you and your dates are on the same page. Practice fully expressing your thoughts.

Make sure you aren't approaching dating with a closed mind. Jackson says some people can get so hung up on finding someone who fits their predetermined "type" that they miss out on an ideal mate. Don't limit your dating pool with a bunch of superficial requirements, such as "tall and handsome."

While dating apps are a formidable source of meeting new people, Jackson says you can't be afraid to step away from your comfort zone. Date outside of your box. Attend social gatherings and be willing to meet people in different environments. She even suggests trying blind dates. Your future partner may not be on an app.

According to Jackson, gender roles and gender rules are a major source of playing games in dating. If you're caught up in who should do what, it can cause you to try to manipulate the situation and the other person. Dating becomes a competition where both people lose.

Sometimes, especially with the pressure you may be feeling in your 30s, you can want to be in love so badly that you create it in places it doesn't exist. "It would be a beautiful thing to find the one and get married, but it doesn't always happen," Moyo says. He mentions being careful to avoid setting yourself up for disappointment. The process may take longer than you'd like or not go as you hope. Don't adopt the "marriage or bust" mindset. Allow dating to continue being a fun learning experience.

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