This Year's Cuffing Season May Be Bigger Than Ever: How To Stay Levelheaded

Dating has changed since the pandemic hit. Fisher's research this year has shown many single people have been getting more serious about dating this year, and various dating apps have observed similar trends toward more intentional dating among their users. Many people are more drawn to serious relationships these days, she says, and they're being choosier about who they're dating and more upfront about what they want.

"This pandemic has required all of us to think seriously about our lives," Fisher tells mbg. "People are spending more time getting to know potential partners, using more honesty and transparency, and are even more likely to ask potential mates what they are looking for. Transparency is in."

That means that more people than usual might find themselves searching for partnership this winter—and might be more likely to find it because of this new, more intentional approach to dating. Fisher says this year may look less like a "cuffing season" and more like a real coupling season.

The dating app Match, for whom Fisher serves as chief scientific adviser, has also observed a general shift in dating app usage. Traditionally dating app usage is higher at the start of the year, according to Match, but this year more people were swiping in July than on Valentine's Day. And they say this higher dating app traffic has stayed steady even as we head into cuffing season.

And emotionally speaking, this year has been an absolute roller coaster for many people. The sweet comfort of a loving relationship—and a warm body to curl up with at night—might be more appealing than ever this winter.

Make sure you're aware of what you want, why you're dating someone, and whether you're interested in committing to someone for the long haul or for the time being. Both are perfectly fine; just make sure you're honest with yourself and your partner about why you're snuggling into a relationship. You can enjoy comfort, closeness, love, and sex while still recognizing that you're not necessarily going to be together forever, and that's OK.

COVID-19 has come with an influx of so-called turbo relationships," aka people skipping over the earlier stages of a relationship and jumping into big commitments on a faster timeline than usual. That's not necessarily a bad thing, though it's important to pause and really consider whether you want to take a big step with someone you haven't known for very long.

At the same time, let yourself be happy and enjoy yourself! "Think of reasons to say YES," Fisher recommends. "The brain is built to dwell on the negative. Try to overlook the little things you might not like about someone and concentrate on the things you do like about him or her. In short: Overcome the brain's natural 'negativity bias.'"