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150 Deep To Sexy Conversation Starters For Couples
Contributing Sex & Relationships Editor
By Kelly Gonsalves
Contributing Sex & Relationships Editor
Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.
Whether it's been a few weeks or decades, every couple can use some new fodder for date-night table talk. In fact, date nights are not just about the venue or the cuisine; they're an opportunity to delve into each other's thoughts, desires, and dreams.
As time passes, however, it's easy for conversation to fall into routines, revolving around daily tasks or surface-level updates. Adding a bit of novelty into the dialogue can reignite sparks and foster deeper emotional bonds.
Below we compiled a bunch of questions to ask your partner, from deep conversation starters to sexy questions to turn each other on.
Deep conversation starters for couples
- Have you ever been in love before?
- Tell me the story of your first love.
- If you could make money doing anything in the world, what would you do?
- What are five things you couldn't live without?
- What's one article of clothing you could never part with?
- Who's someone in your life that you really look up to?
- What's one of your most cherished memories?
- Have you ever hurt someone and deeply regretted it? Did you ever make amends?
- What's the meaning of life?
- What's your purpose in life?
- Do you believe in an afterlife?
- Do you like your life right now? If not, what's keeping you from changing it?
- What people have made you who you are today?
- What experiences have made you who you are today?
- When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
- Have you ever felt very strongly about something and then eventually changed your mind about it?
- What do you think is your best quality?
- What do you think is my best quality?
- What quality do you want to nurture more of in yourself?
- Do you have a good relationship with your body?
- Do you find it easier to give or to receive?
- What's one dish or meal that reminds you of home?
- Have you ever broken up with a friend?
- What makes you anxious?
- What does happiness mean to you?
- If you no longer had to work to live comfortably, what would you be doing with your life?
- What's one thing in your life that you're struggling with right now?
- What's one thing in your life that you're grateful for?
- What's your latest controversial hot take?
Want a few more options? Here's our full list of 279 deep conversation starters to help you really get to know someone.
Romantic conversation starters for couples
- What initially made you interested in me?
- How did you know you were in love with me?
- Is there anything about our relationship that feels totally unique to us?
- Where do you see our relationship going?
- What does marriage mean to you?
- How do you feel about big proposals?
- How do you think our relationship will change if we get married?
- What does it mean to be a good partner?
- What's your love language?
- What's the most romantic movie you've ever seen?
- What's a song that reminds you of our relationship?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- Do you believe in soul mates? (What about twin flames?)
- When we're apart, what do you miss most about me?
- What's your most precious memory of me?
- What do you love most about our daily life together?
- What kinds of things will we be doing 10 years from now? Twenty years from now? In retirement?
- What would we do in retirement together?
Sexy questions to ask your partner
- What's your favorite part of my body?
- What part of my body do you want to explore more?
- What part of your body do you want me to explore more?
- What's the hottest memory you have of us?
- If you could relive one of our sexual experiences, which would you choose?
- Which is better: morning sex or sex at night?
- What does it mean to be good in bed?
- Fast and hard, or slow and gentle?
- Hottest sex position?
- Sex position that's most likely to make you orgasm?
- Where is the wildest place you've ever had sex?
- What would be a really hot place for us to have sex?
- How would you feel about people watching us have sex?
- What's your go-to masturbation routine?
- What kind of porn turns you on?
- What's your dirtiest sexual fantasy?
- What's a very ordinary thing that just really turns you on?
- How do you feel about being tied up (or tying me up)?
- Do you like to be spanked? (Or the idea of spanking me?)
- What would you like to see me dressed in on a special sexual occasion?
Funny conversation starters
- What reality TV show would you be on?
- What's the worst or weirdest date you've ever been on?
- What's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you while having sex with someone?
- If you were an animal, what kind would you be?
- Who is your celebrity crush?
- Who was your celebrity crush as a teenager?
- What celebrity would play you in a movie about your life?
- What would be the title of your autobiography?
- What is your soul age?
- Have you ever dated someone who was a bad kisser?
- Do you have any "moves" when it comes to flirting or dates?
- What was your first email address?
- Do you believe in ghosts?
- Have you ever had any unexplainable or supernatural experiences?
- If you were a social media influencer, what would you be known for?
- When and how did you first discover masturbation?
- What's something you were weirdly into for a very long period of time?
- Would you survive a zombie apocalypse?
Here's our full list of fun questions to ask to really get to know someone.
Conversation starters to get to know your partner better
- Do you want to have kids? Why or why not?
- What kind of parent do you want to be?
- How do you feel about religion?
- What was it like to grow out of your religion?
- What's your best habit?
- Worst habit?
- What does a perfect marriage look like to you?
- What would you like your life to be like five years from now? Ten years from now?
- What do you want to do when you're retired?
- Tell me about your best friend. What are they like, and why are you best friends?
- How important is sex to you?
- What do you need when you're angry? Stressed? Sad?
- Could you date some who doesn't share your political views?
- What do you hate?
- What's your deepest insecurity?
- Are you a jealous person?
- Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?
- What would you consider a perfect day?
- Tell me your life story.
- Do you believe in unconditional love?
- What are your dating deal-breakers?
- What's the No. 1 thing you look for in a partner?
- Why do you think your past relationships haven't worked out?
- What kind of gifts do you like?
- If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
- What's something that you wish people would ask you about more often?
Conversation starters about family
- What's your relationship with your parents like?
- Has it always been that way?
- Do you think your family knows the real you?
- Are you close with your family?
- Do you want to be more like or less like your parents?
- What do you know about your family's history?
- Do you want to be more or less like your parents?
- How have your parents affected the way you show up in relationships?
- Are you close with your siblings?
- What’s something your parents have taught you about love that you now realize is wrong?
- What qualities do you admire most in your parents?
- What were your grandparents like?
- Do you like your extended family?
- What word would you use to describe your family?
- Which family traditions have you carried on?
- Any traditions you were happy to say goodbye to?
- What's one thing the family probably doesn't know about you?
Conversation starters about your childhood
- What types of activities did you enjoy as a kid? Do you still do them now?
- What were you like as a child?
- What were you like as a teenager?
- What were you like in college, if you went?
- What was your childhood like?
- Would you change anything about the way you grew up?
- Do you feel like money affected the way you grew up? How so?
- Do you feel like race has affected your life? How so?
- What do you think your younger self would think about who you are today?
- Is there anything from your past that you're ashamed about?
- In what ways do you think you have grown as a person?
- What is the most difficult thing you've ever had to go through?
- Were you raised under a certain religion?
- Did you have a favorite pet growing up? What made them your favorite?
- In what ways do you still feel like a kid inside?
- Do you feel connected to your inner child?
- What's one of your most cherished childhood memories?
- What's something you used to believe in that you don't anymore, and what changed?
- Tell me about a time you did something you "weren't supposed to" but it was worth it.
- What's one thing you wish you could tell your younger self?
- What's one dish or meal that reminds you of home?
- Which scents do you associate with childhood?
The takeaway
No matter how long you've been together, it's never too late to stay curious about your partner and get to know them on an even deeper level. Pick a few of the questions from this list that call to you before your next date night and come prepared! You might just be surprised what you discover about your significant other—with a little own openness and vulnerability, of course.
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