8 Clear Signs You're Falling Out Of Love With Your Partner

To put the question bluntly: Is this just a phase, or am I falling out of love with my partner?

Below are some signs that come about when you are falling out of love, according to therapists.

First of all, let's get it straight: Falling out of love is not the same thing as being unhappy in a relationship. According to Greer, unhappiness comes from your partner not meeting your needs, whether that's from something unresolved or disappointing. Hopefully, this can be fixed with some time, effort, and communication. A lack of interest, on the other hand, involves feelings duller than that. "You have no interest in spending time with [the person] or resolving conflicts, and being with [them] is lackluster," she explains. "Simply put, the thrill is gone."

"When you're falling out of love, you think about your partner less and less," she says. "Your partner is no longer in your thoughts." This isn't to say you need to remain in the heady infatuation of romantic love that's common at the start of relationships, when your partner consumes just about all your thoughts—it's totally normal for those all-consuming, crush-like thoughts about your partner to fade as the months and years go by. But something important might be fading if you find yourself constantly forgetting to check in with your partner, acting like you're single when your partner isn't around, or unable to remember or cherish important relationship milestones and rituals. 

Feeling this way probably has you also feeling guilty, as you may find yourself faking your way through your interactions to some extent. "It feels burdensome to have to pretend to be enjoying yourself or to go along with spending time together when you don't really want to," Greer explains. "You can't be your real, authentic self, and so it's more difficult to be around [them]."

When your feelings about your partner shift, you may also notice yourself being bothered by the little things that used to have no effect on you. Maybe it's the way they eat, the sounds they make while they're sleeping or thinking, or other mannerisms that have recently become glaringly obvious and irritating. This is part of finding your partner undesirable now.

If it's all habitual patterns and no real emotional investment or substance behind your interactions, it may be a sign that the love has faded, and you're just living in the shell of where it once was. "There's no juice left in the relationship," Tessina tells mbg. "You may be fond of each other still, but you don't really feel connected."

Effective communication is a big cog of the mechanics of a successful relationship. If you're no longer inclined to engage in meaningful conversations with your partner, it might mean your feelings for them are changing. A few ways this might be appearing in your relationship: You aren't trying to get on the same page with your partner anymore. You don't want to convey your thoughts, and you also don't really have an interest in knowing their perspective. You've kind of given up.

Wanting to dialogue with your partner—share ideas, feel heard, and hear them—is a signal that you really care about them and that you're invested in the relationship. If that drive isn't there, you might be falling out of love.

As Greer points out, a little uncertainty is normal in most relationships. But she adds that when you truly love someone, the uncertainty eventually passes, and the loving feeling returns. "When you fall out of love, you're anchored in the negative feelings," she says. You may be able to identify what's missing in your relationship, but the truth is, you find yourself reluctant to try to bring back that spark.

If you're still caught in confusion and uncertainty after some time has passed, then consider facing the reality that your love might really be fading. What comes next is up to you. There are ways to stop falling out of love and save a relationship that's falling apart—if that's what you want. It's also important to recognize when it might be time to break up.