The 5 Best Mattresses For Sex In 2023 If You Want To Maximize Pleasure

When it comes to sex, people spend a heck of a lot of time thinking about what they put into their bodies or what they put their bodies into. Few consider what they put their bodies on: their mattress.

The mattress you have sex on can be the difference between a banging time in bed and a sex session that's cut short by aches and pains, according to Searah Deysach, a sex educator and owner of pleasure products company Early to Bed. "It's going to be impossible to relax and enjoy the sexual activity at hand if your mattress is putting you in discomfort or pain," she says. And "if you are uncomfortable [or in] pain, you probably aren't experiencing pleasure or able to connect with your partner(s), which are really the whole point of sex." True!

A few fewer rompathons each month may not seem like that big of a deal. But for people who value and prioritize sexual connection, physical touch, and sexual intimacy in their lives, the absence of sex can lead to feelings of isolation, disconnection, and inadequacy, says Deysach. As such, replacing your old mattress with a sex-friendly one can help fill your life with not only more orgasms and quality sleep but more love, too.

No doubt, there's a time and place for kitchen counter, car, or shower sex. But most people do the majority of their boning in bed. And if their mattress isn't comfortable? Well, that boning is going to be marked by pain rather than pleasure.

"Sex is just as much a mental thing as it is a physical thing, if not more so," explains Drew O’Bannon, a sex and intimacy expert with Emma Sleep, the manufacturer of the Emma CliMax® Hybrid, a sex mattress created to celebrate real bodies and their intimate moments in bed. "So, if your mind is somewhere else because your back is uncomfortable on the mattress or your body hurts, it's going to be hard to stay in the moment and enjoy what you're doing."

Here's the thing: The mattress you have sex on is also the mattress you sleep on. (Unless of course you have a separate sex room, in which case, kudos!) And the quality of your sleep can also affect your overall life—including your sex life.

Shelby Harris, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist, clinical associate professor of neurology and psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, and director of Sleep Health at Sleepopolis, explains that poor sleep can lead to a greater risk of cardiovascular disease and diabetes, and it can also cause issues with mood regulation, mental health, and more: "Poor sleep can also lead to irritability, stress, and anxiety that can lead to conflicts in your relationships that make sexual connection impossible or unappealing," she says. In other words, you (don't) snooze and you lose (out on sex).

Whether you want a mattress with more or less bounce is going to come down to personal preference. Some pleasure seekers want mattresses with a heck of a lot of bounce because it can help them find their rhythm. A rider, for example, might appreciate that the mattress takes over some of the up-and-down work during rider-on-top positions (e.g., the classic cowgirl). 

Typically, how loud a mattress is is correlated with how bouncy it is. Generally speaking, O'Bannon says the bouncier a mattress is, the louder it will be, while the firmer a mattress is, the quieter it will be.

It sounds obvious, but if you're going to have sex on a mattress, you need that mattress to be able to accommodate the body weight of you and the person (or people) you're having sex with. If you or a partner are bigger-bodied or group sex makes a regular appearance in your sex life, be sure to check the weight capacity, suggests O'Bannon.

"Getting 'hot and heavy' is a euphemism for sex, but if things get too hot literally, you'll be uncomfortable while you're having sex," says O'Bannon. After all, no one wants sweat in their eyes when they're getting it on, they say. Truth!

So, if you and your bae run warm—or you don't have air conditioning—you might consider investing in a temperature-regulating or temperature-controlled mattress.

Unless you're tapping into your inner Christian Grey and buying this mattress for your dungeon, sex isn't the only thing you'll be doing on this mattress. You'll also be sleeping on it, so you'd be wise to think about what position you get into when you crawl between the sheets.