I'm A Geriatric Neuropsychiatrist & Here's Why We Need To Redefine Loneliness

Loneliness has been responsible for 162,000 deaths of Americans every year—long before the coronavirus arrived in the U.S. The COVID-19 pandemic and the required social distancing have made all of us keenly aware of the problem of loneliness. However, people do not realize that the behavioral pandemic of loneliness has been with us for decades—and it's just getting worse.

How does loneliness kill tens of thousands of Americans annually? It increases the risk of many fatal diseases1 including heart disease, diabetes, obesity, dementia, and depression with opioid abuse and suicides. 

The causes of loneliness are complex and multifaceted. There are genetic and other biological factors. But many sociodemographic variables are also involved, like the ability to engage with others and stress related to workplace or family relationships. That said, age certainly plays a role. 

During this stage, you are faced with making multiple decisions that could affect the rest of your life. These include choosing a potential life partner and starting a family, settling in a particular city or region. There is a lot of peer pressure, and you often feel that you are doing worse than your peers. Relationships are often in flux; career paths are still to be determined. It is a time of both great expectation and greater uncertainty, which fuels stress and taxes resilience. Engulfed in their own worlds, 20-somethings may feel like no one quite knows or understands what they are going through.   

By a person's mid-50s, however, many of life's early trials and tribulations have been sorted out. People have married, formed families, established careers. There's less uncertainty in those spheres but new angst about what lies ahead. This is a period of the proverbial midlife crisis. Women experience menopause, and men face the equivalent andropause. You are in the sandwich generation, taking care of children and parents. Some close friends or family members die, you are diagnosed with high blood pressure or diabetes, and mortality becomes a real threat. 

At this point in life, loneliness may, in fact, simply be the inescapable effect of outliving your peers, friends, and family. You are lonely because many of those who made you feel less alone are now gone, and there is a realization that time is running out. You worry about forgetfulness and fear that you may already be in the throes of Alzheimer's disease.

These traits are not just measurable but modifiable; you can become wiser faster. And in doing so, become less lonely, now and in the future.